Quotes to live by

"What are the opportunities, solutions, resources, people, funding sources, potential venture partners, etc. that you are not seeing in your environment because you are so focused on what is and what has been rather than what you want -- your desired vision?" ~ Master of Influence Class

Merry Christmas

Where ever you are in the world and whatever your faith, please take the time to share and give of yourself and your love this day.

To Give and To Receive

"The man who gives his money, gives much. The man who gives his time, gives more. The man who gives of himself, gives all." Pres. Thomas S. Monson

This is the day of giving and it is also a day of receiving. We all know how important it is to give and share with the right kind of spirit in our hearts. It is shown and told to us countless times and in countless ways. A classic story of these principles is "The Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. But how many of us think about the importance of how we receive those things that are being given to us.

Today I wish to share with you a talk given by a leader of my Church, Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf. Please consider and ponder on these words the next time you are on the receiving end of someone else's sincere efforts of giving. God bless you and Merry Christmas.

Every gift that is offered at Christmastime — especially a gift that comes from the heart — is an opportunity to build or strengthen a bond of love, said President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, second counselor in the First Presidency.

“When we are good and grateful receivers, we open a door to deepen our relationship with the giver of the gift,” he said. “But when we fail to appreciate or even reject a gift, we not only hurt those who extend themselves to us, but in some way, we harm ourselves as well.”

Speaking during the First Presidency Christmas Devotional on Dec. 2, President Uchtdorf remembered warm and vivid memories of Christmas from his childhood.

“Although I grew up in modest circumstances, my parents wanted Christmas to be a time of joy and wonder for their children,” he recalled.

The Uchtdorf children made gifts for each other. One year, he drew a picture for his sister; though it was not a work of great art, she treated it like a treasure. Another year his brother, who was 12 years older, carved for him a knife from a stick found at a nearby park. Although it was simple, young Dieter treasured the gift because it had come from his brother.

“Isn’t one of the great joys of Christmas seeing the excited faces of little children as they take in their hands a wrapped gift that is just for them?” asked Preisdent Uchtdorf. “As we get older, however, our ability to receive gifts with the same enthusiasm and grace seems to diminish. Sometimes people even get to the point where they can’t receive a gift or, for that matter, even a compliment without embarrassment or feelings of indebtedness. They mistakenly think that the only acceptable way to respond to receiving a gift is by giving back something of even greater value. Others simply fail to see the significance of a gift — focusing only on its outward appearance or its value and ignoring the deep meaning it has to the sincere giver.”

President Uchtdorf spoke of an event that took place during the last night of the Savior’s mortal life. “He gathered His beloved disciples around Him, broke bread with them, and gave them precious final instructions. Do you remember that as the meal progressed, Jesus rose from the table, poured water into a basin, and began to wash His disciples’ feet?”

When the Savior came to Simon Peter, the fisherman refused. “I’m sure Peter thought he had noble reasons for refusing this gift and felt he was doing the right thing. But at that moment, he clearly did not understand the spiritual significance of what Jesus was offering him.”

President Uchtdorf said at Christmastime people talk a lot about giving, “but I wonder if sometimes we disregard or even disparage the importance of being a good receiver.”

He recounted the story of a little girl who, on a Christmas day many years ago, received a beautiful beading kit. With the kit, she fashioned a bracelet for an elderly aunt, who refused the gift.

“Decades have passed, and the little girl, now an aunt herself, still remembers, with a bit of sadness, that day when her childlike gift was refused,” President Uchtdorf recalled.

He then asked the worldwide congregation “to rediscover and reclaim a precious and glorious attribute of children — the ability to receive graciously and with gratitude.”

He said the Savior is the perfect example not only of generous giving but also of gracious receiving. “My brothers and sisters, what kind of receivers are we? Do we, like the Savior, recognize gifts as expressions of love? … I hope that this Christmas and every day of the year we will consider, in particular, the many gifts we have been given by our loving Heavenly Father. I hope we will receive these gifts with the wonder, thankfulness and excitement of a child.”

President Uchtdorf asked the congregation to not forget the gifts Heavenly Father has given them — the gift of the Holy Ghost, the miracle of forgiveness, personal revelation and guidance, the Savior’s peace, the certainty and comfort that death is conquered and many more gifts. He counseled the congregation to remember, above all, that God has given the gift of His Only Begotten Son.

“This Christmas season and always, I pray that we will see the marvelous gift of the birth of the Son of God through the blessed eyes of a child. I pray that in addition to giving good gifts, we will strive to become good and grateful receivers. As we do so, the spirit of this season will enlarge our hearts and expand our joy beyond measure.”

Quotes to live by

Often times it is our failures that catapult us forward." ~ Carrie Strug

Enjoying the moment

This month has been full of sleeplessness nights and one cold after another. I fell ill and managed to get better and two days later I became sick again. All the while December has arrived bringing with it my favorite holiday, Christmas. There are many things that I like to do for Christmas like baking cookies to take to friends and neighbors, decorating, and making gifts. Unfortunately I haven't really been able to do hardly any of these things. We only managed to get the tree up two weeks before Christmas and didn't decorate it until one week before.

It has been hectic and chaotic and I have hardly gotten anything done that I was planning on this year. Things that I especially wanted to do since this is our babies first Christmas. Now she is not even two months old and I know that she doesn't even know what's going on let alone her remembering any of it, but I really wanted to do it. I wanted to create these memories for myself and the rest of my family. Everything I hoped to accomplish is not done and everyday has kind of passed me by in one big blur. I can't help but wonder where the time went.

Even though I didn't get to do the other things that would have been wonderful, I do have some special moments that have made me smile and my heart happy. I heard my baby girl laugh for the first time. I heard my boys laugh and play in the morning rather than argue and fight, which has been the usual routine lately. My husband wrestling and playing with our boys. My two girls cuddled up with each other.

This Christmas has not been what I had planned but it has been full of small and meaningful moments. Moments that could easily pass me by if I were too busy lamenting over what I didn't get, do, or have. Christmas isn't about what you have bought or what you planned to do. Christmas is about love. So if you aren't loving what you are doing in the giving or the planning it's time to rethink how you are spending your Christmas.

When next year comes around what will your memories of this Christmas be full of; stress and chaos or love and kindness?

Quotes to live by

"in a world of change it is the Learners who inherit the future...the learned usually find themselves equipped to live in a world that no longer exists." ~ Eric Hoffer

We Need Everyone

I receive inspirational messages from Insight of the Day. I just received one that I really want to share with you. We are now in the mist of the holiday season and something that many may not be aware of is the fact that although it is the season of joy there are many in the world who suffer from depression that may be worse at this time of year. For those of you who may have someone in your life who is dealing with depression read this article and see if there is something that can help you and them. God bless you and good luck.

The Beginning

Has your world ever stopped? Has your heart ever sunk to your knees and your stomach to your toes? That visceral experience of every hair in your body stiffening because you are so shocked is one I pray to the Universe I never ever have to experience again. In 1986, when my mom committed suicide – my life turned inside out and upside down. The excruciating scream inside, was like a wild animal in so much pain – and it couldn’t come out of my mouth. It was stifled by the shock and deep despair that my mother was gone...forever.

 

Silently I screamed inside of myself, “No no no, dear God don’t do this to me. I need her. She’s my mother. Why? Why? Why are you doing this to me?”

 

She decided to take her life on Friday June 13^th 1986 and she died on Father’s Day, June 15^th. I was informed of this life changing event by a police officer at 6 am in the morning, Saturday June 14th. We had to drive 1 ½ hours to get back to the hospital and it felt like I was in slow motion. I was dying inside and horrific thoughts and memories flooded my mind of how she had attempted to kill herself...once again. This was not the first time, however, it was the last.

 

We finally made it to the hospital and I flew into the intensive care. I had aunts and uncles there with my father and brother. As if I was out of my body I heard the warbled words, “it looks like she’s stable”. All I wanted to do was see my Mom, touch her, hold her and tell her that everything will be alright. I went into intensive care and saw her attached to tubes and wires. She was unconscious, however she was alive. I touched her hair and kissed her cheek... or I think I did. Everything is such a blur...like the worst nightmare you can imagine. I said to her, “Mom you can’t go, we need you. You are so important to us. How can we live without you?”

 

With the reassurance of the doctors we went home and I called my sister who was studying on the west coast. How the hell do you tell your sister who is so far away that our Mom, once again, tried to take her life. With the most love and compassion I could muster up I dialed the phone. Within one hour she was booked to fly home and was back early Sunday morning. She’s my older sister of one year - my rock. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw her because everything will now be okay.

 

Early Sunday morning we returned to the hospital, and once again we were surrounded by so many aunts, uncles and cousins. Our family is the most awesome family one can ever have. My grandparents had a farm during the Depression and strong family values were breed into each and every one of us. As a side note, my grandmother, known as GGma, by the great grandchildren, use to feed not only 8 children but the hobo’s (as they were called back then) who got off the train. She always had a hot meal and homemade biscuits ready for all. This is why many family members were surrounding us.

 

Then, all of a sudden, there was a loud speaker that yelled, “code red, code red”. Everything became surreal, and once again, in slow motion. A team of doctors and those shock paddles flew into my mother’s room. My body turned to jello and it felt like all my blood was draining from my body. We had to leave her room and stand in the hall waiting for the verdict. All I remember is leaning up against the cold wall, trembling and shaking with agonizing pain. Then everything stopped. Silence was upon us. The doctor’s told us my mother was dead... and then, I did scream. Or I thought I screamed.

 

I loved my mother more than words can describe. Kind of like that book by Robert Munsch, ‘Love You Forever’, which I could never read to my children without crying.

Fifteen years later our family went through the same thing. My father remarried a lovely woman who killed herself in 2001. Why, oh why is this happening again? Why do people do this? I don’t get it.

 

I get it now. This pain has sparked my passion, the fire within, to assist and guide people to not only see their inner beauty but feel it. Unfortunately, my Mom, step-Mom and many others who have committed suicide could not see their wonderful strengths and gifts they were born with. That intense pain spurred me to believe in people and mirror back to them their shining light. I call myself a ‘belief buster’. Those pesky beliefs such as, I’m not good enough, or I’m not important or I’m failing, are corrupt stories that we all develop, however they have a powerful affect on our thoughts, choices and our lives. Many people feel that the only way out is to leave this planet. I believe there is another way and I guide others to see this Divine way.

 

To close, I’d ask you to...Imagine....every single person is a unique piece of a puzzle which makes up the Universe. Now imagine that each piece is important, connected and dependent on all the others. Our distorted beliefs make us shrink, which affects the whole puzzle...the whole universe. Playing small, shrinking creates a misaligned world. Being you and allowing your authentic inner light to shine puts the puzzle back into alignment...and we all thrive together. You are needed...you are awesome...and you have a purpose in this four letter word called life.

 

Written By Cathy Lumsden

 

Cathy Lumsden is a psychotherapist, author, and speaker who has over 25 years of touching thousands of individual adults, families, teenagers and children’s lives. Cathy is the host of a weekly TV show called “The Best Advice”. She interviews experts on relationships from all over North America - inspiring people to create vibrant healthy relationships with their partners, children, colleagues, and most importantly...with themselves

 

Cathy is the author of The Best Advice Your Mother Never Gave You: A Guide to Finding Love in the 21st Century. She calls herself a “Belief Buster”, assisting others to eradicate the sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that hinder their lives. When we shift, not only can we truly live, while they’re still alive, we can heal the world together. To contact Cathy please go to: www.thebestadviceyourmothernevergaveyou.com

Quotes to live by

"What you focus on expands, and when you focus on goodness in your life, you create more of it." ~ Oprah Winfrey

In sickness

Well, it's been very quite here because it's been very hectic at home. My older children have been dancing around with one cold or another and they have finally gotten the baby sick. She has been cranky and miserable. Needless to say this has led to decreased sleep and increased fatigue for me and dad. This has led to my succumbing to the cold that has been floating around as well. You never want to see your children sick but it's even harder when it's your baby that is hardly a month old.

I think the hardest part is having to do things that are to help them get better but causes them distress. My baby has been very congested and it has made it hard for her to breathe, sleep and eat. In order to help her breathe better so she can sleep and eat better as well as prevent a sinus and possible ear infections we have sucked the mucus out of her sinuses with a nose syringe. We have also used a saline rinse to clean her sinuses. This of course made her very upset and mad.

Doing something like this that upsets her so much is very distressing to me, dad, and her big sister who has been helping us. It makes you feel bad to do something that you know bothers them so much but you also know that it is for their good because if you didn't do it there would be bigger and more painful consequences down the road. If we avoided the discomfort of cleaning her nose becuase of it upsetting her we would have worse problems like sinus and ear infections that can lead to further issues and may result in having to go to the hospital.

There are many times in life when we are faced with something that upsets us, makes us feel uncomfortable, frustrated, or mad. Many times when we are faced with these situations we often desire to avoid them as much as possible. However, what we don't realize is that these few moments of distress are not here just to upset us but rather to help us so we can get better or rather become better. And when we avoid them we actually take a path that leads us to more consequences or harder more upsetting situations than the ones we were in to begin with.

As hard as it is to do these things that upset my baby so much, I know it is what will help her the best and provide her with the opportunity to get better. As I know this about my own child I know that this is also what God is doing for us, His children. I know it does not bring Him joy to see us upset when we are asked to do something that upsets us but He knows that these are but for a moment and are for our good and will be less upsetting than the alternative if we don't face it.

If you find yourself in a situation that is less than ideal take a moment to see what it is here to help you overcome it. This may just help you find the perspective you need to be patient while you bare these things.

Quotes to live by

"We can do no great things; just small things with great love." ~ Mother Teresa

Quotes to live by

"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" ~ Robert Schuller

Thanksgiving

Thursday was Thanksgiving. We were able to visit with family that we hadn't seen for a while. It was really very nice. We had a good time and the food was great. And of course there was a tasty turkey. And with the eating of the turkey came the food coma there after that lead to sitting around watching TV.

There were several commercials on TV that encouraged you to give thanks for what you have. One commercial was from St. Jude's Hospital and they said to give thanks for your child that can leave a dirty mess in the house because they are at home while these sick children were living in a hospital. Another commercial was for an insurance agency that showed so many who after hurricane Sandy are living in terrible conditions; no food, no water, no clothes, no shelter, no home, and even though it wasn't mentioned in the ad there are those who have lost loved ones as well. The commercial was giving thanks for those employees who themselves had suffered the same as the clients but instead of focusing on their grief they were reaching out to help.

I know there are many hardships in life and they don't take consideration of what time of year it is or what is happening in our lives. They come and go in their own time and we are left to adjust and accommodate accordingly. I myself have lost loved ones on Thanksgiving Day and have helped my husband through a lay off during Christmas. As hard as these things were there were also many things to be grateful for. There were many reaching out to aid and help and many blessings that came to us and if I had been lost in grief I wouldn't have been able to recognize them let alone receive them.

I am sorry if you are finding yourself suffering at this time but I know that if you are able to take a moment to find the blessings in your life you will see that there are many more than you realize and knowing this will help to comfort you and give you the strength to pull through. There is a song by the Mama's and the Papa's that says, "It's darkest just before dawn." Hold on, count your blessings and you will soon see the sun rising on the horizon lighting the way out.

So grab a piece of paper and pen and write a list of all the things you are grateful for. Do not edit what you write; you are the only one who needs to see this list. And if you feel you are unable to think of anything I will start you off with some ideas.

1. I am grateful that I can breathe on my own.
2. I am grateful for my two feet that I can stand on.
3. I am grateful I can see.
4. I am grateful I can see my children.
5. I am grateful I can hear my children laugh.
6. I am grateful for formula that helps me feed my baby when I have less milk to feed her.
7. I am grateful that my teenage daughter wants to change the baby's dirty diapers.
8. I am grateful that my teenage daughter was able to laugh about the baby spitting up all over her like a water fountain.
9. I am grateful that my husband sends me to bed to get some rest and stays up with the baby.
10. I am grateful for the technology that allows me to see my mother even though we are in different states.

Now take that paper and pen and get to writing. You will feel better after you do it. Even if it is only one thing, write it. Do this every day and before you know it you will find that you feel better. God bless you that your hearts may be light and your pockets heavy.

Quotes to live by

"It's not about sophistication. It's not about facilities. It's about doing a job well." ~ 2012 London Olympics

A time to reflect and change

It has been a whirl wind around here. My little girl is already two weeks old and it feels like it is going by way to fast. I love the time that I have spent with her but it doesn't feel like I have been able to be with her enough. It feels like time is just flying by and each moment is more and more fleeting.

I think I feel this way so strongly this time because this is going to be our last baby and I want to enjoy it and remember everything. I only wish I had this same desire which each of my other children regardless if they were going to be the last or not. There are so many other things I would have made wait and enjoyed the moments with them more. In the end I don't remember if my house was as clean as I wanted or if I got back into shape as quickly as I would have preferred. What I wish for is to have more memories of the time I spent with my children.

Next week is Thanksgiving and it can be a time to reflect and find gratitude in our lives. I am grateful that I have this new perspective and desire to appreciate my children and the time and memories we are making together. It is helping me to see how important some things are while recognizing just how unimportant others things are that I have made such a priority in my life. To everything there is a season and I feel that now is a season of reflection and change for me. I am reflecting on how I have prioritized my life and it is helping me to change my life and make the important things the priority that they should have been all along.

I don't know how you celebrate thanksgiving but I want to encourage all of you take time this next week to reflect on how and what you are spending your time and resources on and see how this list measures up to what you consider to be what is important and you really want in your life. If what you are spending your energy on is for the things you hold dear; good for you. If it isn't on what you value and treasure most then maybe it's time for a change.

Give it some thought and make sure that what you love most isn't playing second fiddle to lesser things.

Quotes to live by

"Making good decisions doesn't make life easy, but it can make it easier." ~ Forever Strong

Welcome the New Addition

We welcomed our baby girl into the family this weekend! Our little girl Rose was born early Saturday morning. It has been a busy week but one that is well worth it. Sadly our other children all came down with a virus and have been sick most of the week as well. Fortunately my husband was able to stay home so that the baby and I were able to keep our distance from all of the others until they were better.

It has been an exciting journey bringing this little girl into the world. I look forward to writing about it and sharing the insights I have learned from my experiences. I hope that you are able to find something to be grateful for and celebrate this week. Find something to put a smile on your face and enjoy the moment. I can tell you from experience, the moments are what counts and they are fleeting. My baby is already a week old. So take a moment and enjoy it before it passes you by.

Recipes

Since I am resting while I wait for the baby to arrive I have been working on updating some of my neglected pages. I'm pretty sure that by the time I get this posted the baby will be making her arrival. So exciting!

I have updated the recipe page with some of my favorite recipes. Take a look and see if something catches your fancy and give it a try. I highly recommend the corn bread and baked oatmeal. Yumm! These are not only healthy but they taste really good. I am looking forward to making these myself again once the baby gets here. These last weeks have really limited the amount of things I can do and unfortunately for me and my family cooking has been one of these things. I think we are all tired of boxed mac n cheese, hot dogs, and pancakes.

So have fun and check back often. I am aiming to get recipes up on a regular basis.

Quotes to live by

"Rudeness is the weak mans imitation of strength." ~ Eric Hoffer

Essential Oil Recipes

I love essential oils and the amazing things they can do to help our bodies heal themselves. I have already shared my personal healing experience in using them to regrow my hair. I have created an Essential Oils Recipe page for anyone interested in finding some ways that essential oils can help in your own healing. I do want to stress the importance of using 100% certified pure essential oils when using them on or in the body. By using this grade of essential oils you are increasing the ability of the oils to help do what they were created for but also reduce the chance of having a reaction or ill effects. This is why I only recommend doTERRA essential oils in the recipes I have listed.

I have also included a recipe for making your own lotion from scratch. It sounds harder than it is. It is really a very easy recipe to make and it's a lot of fun. I use this recipe to make a base lotion that I can add my essential oil recipes to. It makes it easy for applying the mixed oils instead of having to open all the different oils each time I want to apply. It also makes it easier applying them on my children. The lotion will act as a dilution if you are applying the oils to some one who would need them diluted first or are using hot oils like oregan or cinnamon. If you are unable to make your own lotion you can find a natural based lotion with no additives to use instead. I like knowing exactly what's in my lotion and that if any of my small children or animals were to get into them and consume them it will not make them sick.

I will continue to add recipes and suggestions for ailments on my page but for those interested in finding some ideas for more specific ailments now you can go to these links for ideas and testimonials.

www.thinkdoterra.com/23605
http://doterrablog.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/doTERRAcorp
http://www.everythingdoterra.com/

Quotes to live by

"Listen to your heart, surround yourself with supportive and honest people, and work hard." ~ Where Women Create

Instead

I was rummaging around looking for something and in the process came across something else that I had completely forgotten about. It is a plastic card about the size of a credit card with a poem on it. I bought it years ago because I really loved what it said. I am glad I still have it and even more glad that I can still learn from it and share it with you today.

Instead

Instead of fretting over those things you cannot control
Resolve to accept that which is
Let tranquility be your goal

Instead of feeling sorry when a close relationship ends
Go out and revel in the true joy of being among your friends

Instead of feelings that in life's chain you are just another link
Realize that your future is unbounded
For you have the ability to think

Instead of always griping about that which you have not
Why not say a prayer each day to God for what you've got

By Spiritan Arts

Every day is filled with choices. How the day goes for us is determined by those choices. The choices we make are dictated by the perspective we decide to have. If you want to see "unfair" you will find it everywhere if that is what you choose to focus on. If you want to see "abundance" you will be able to find that too when you choose to focus your thoughts on gratitude. Every day is guided by the attitude we pick up in the morning and lay to rest at night. If you want a different kind of day tomorrow take the time to think about the attitude you will carry with you. It is your constant companion and decides the outcome of the way you will perceive your day.

Quotes to live by

"It is often in hindsight that we come to realize the gifts we were given by a particular life circumstance." ~ Susan Tuttle

Never Giving Up When Everyone Says No

Today I watched a video clip about a man who didn't give up on himself when the world told him, "No, you can't do it." There are many people, opportunities, situations, and circumstances in the world that are more than willing to tell us, "No, you can't do it. It's not possible." When this happens we have a choice; we can believe them and give up or we can believe in ourselves and keep pressing forward believing there is a way. Every one of us has and will continue to face these kinds of challenges in our lives. They will always be there, they will never go away. It isn't really the challenge in whatever shape it may come that matters. What matters is what we decide to do after it arrives. Do you give up and give in or do you go on never giving up on yourself and your dreams. The choices you make in these circumstances are the choices that will determine who you are and the quality of life you have.

So please take a moment and watch this video clip and think on the questions I have asked you today. Maybe they will help give you the strength to keep going on when it is tempting to give up.

http://www.flickspire.com/m/LifeSecrets/NeverGiveUp?Id=196414

Quotes to live by

"You special olympians have thrilled us on the playing fields of the world. You have taught us that what matters is not power or politics, weapons or wealth. What truly counts is the courageous spirit, the generous heart." ~ Eunice Kennedy Shriver

Words of Comfort and Strength in times of doubt

This is a compilation of the songs that I received as messages in my time of need. I read them on the occasion when I desire comfort and strength in times of doubt. I hope you will find some comfort and strength in the messages that Heavenly Father sends to you. But just in case you are having difficulty seeing or receiving your own messages at the moment you can use mine. They may not be perfectly for you as they are for me since they were specifically for me but they can still help. The ones that God sends to you will be perfect and sustain you exactly as you need them to since they are designed especially for you.

Don't give up; it's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside, I will be there to find you
Don't give up; because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you, I will shine to guide you
In the arms of the angels, you will find some comfort here
Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, you will soon see
It'll be better than before, yesterday's gone
Yesterday's gone, don't you look back
Here comes the sun, little darling
Here comes the sun and I said it's all right
When you are feeling broken and worthless
I just thought you should know this
That until you fulfill your purpose
It's not over, for you
It's not over, there's still time
Your earthly father may have hurt you, but your Heavenly Father will always be there for you
He wants you to know that it's not over, there's still time
He loves you, He hears you
He feels you, He can heal you
He wants to see you through
It's not over for you, there's still time
Don't be deceived, anything's possible
If you will just believe then you can succeed
It may not be easy; there will be sweat and tears
Don't let them tell you that you don't deserve it
Just remember
You are loved

Your Heavenly Father loves you and will never leave you. All He waits for, is for you to call on Him.

Song lyrics from: Josh Groban, Sarah Mclachlan, Fleetwood Mac, Beatles and Johnny Lang.

Quotes to live by

"I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go." ~ United States President Abraham Lincoln

Listening for the Divine

When you cry in the night, do you ever feel as though someone were listening?

I have talked about the experience of my husband losing his job in a previous post. Today I want to share something special that happened during this stressful time in my life. This is something I didn't mention in the other post.

Two years ago while I was visiting my family in California my husband called to give me the news that he was let go from work and now unemployed. I am sure that those of you who have been unemployed can fully comprehend just how distressing, upsetting, and stressful this was. Even though it was all of this and more, something wonderful happened too. Something that was amazing and beautiful. Something that taught me that there is always someone who listens to tears in the night.

The night I got the news I went to bed with a lot on my mind. Instead of being able to enjoy visiting my family that I hadn't seen all year I now had to make arrangements to leave early. I was worried about my husband being home alone and having no one to comfort him. It was hard to go to sleep that night. The next morning as I was sleeping I became aware that I was dreaming. This is hard to explain, but have you ever been asleep and had the awareness that you were sleeping and dreaming? I had this awareness that I was asleep but I was not dreaming, it was just blank. After I became aware of these facts is when I began to hear music. As I listened I began to recognize it. It was Josh Groban singing, "Don't give up, it's just the weight of the world. Don't give up, everybody just wants to be loved. You are loved." As I listened to this song playing over and over a peace came over me that I was going to be okay and that everything would work out just fine.

This was the first of several experiences like this. I would be asleep dreaming and then become aware of sleep state but there would no longer be a dream, just a blankness. As I became aware I would then hear music. The second time it was Sarah Mclachlan singing, "In the arms of the angels you will find some comfort here." Then came Fleetwood Mac singing, "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow, don't stop you will soon see, it'll be better than before, yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone. Ohh, don't you look back." Then the Beatles singing, "Here comes the sun, little darlin', here comes the sun, it's all right."

This happened over a few months' time. It seemed every couple of weeks when I would reach a low moment or stood in need of encouragement, the next morning I would receive a song that seemed to say exactly what I needed to hear to carry me through the doubt, stress, worry and fear. And as the days passed the song would come to mind and I would find strength beyond my own to press forward to do what I had to. I was able to encourage my husband through his low moments and found the patience needed for other situations that were happening.

One moment in particular was the day I was talking with my husband about how I was feeling overwhelmed. I said, "I know what I know but I am so tired and I just don't feel like I can keep it up. I feel like that female swimmer who was trying to make the swim for the first time and the day of the swim it was so foggy you couldn't see anything. She swam and was almost there when she asked to be pulled out of the water. When she talked about the experience she said, 'If I could have just seen it I could have done it.' That's what I feel like. Like I'm in a fog and I can't see the goal anymore. If I could just see it I could muster the strength to go on but I can't and I don't think I can do it." The next morning is when I heard the Beatles singing, "Here comes the sun".

Every song was personal and detailed to me and what I needed at the time. I have always had a deep belief and faith that my Heavenly Father existed. Over the years I have come to see and believe that He loves me. This experience confirmed His love for me but it also gave me something greater. It has shown me that He not only loves me but that He listens to and hears me and knows me personally. He knows me so well that He knows exactly what I stand in need of and gives it to me, if I am only willing to see and accept what He offers. I know that when he talks to me it is personal and unique to me. He knows me as an individual not just one of the many.

I share this with you today to tell you that whatever you are experiencing, you are not alone. There is someone who cares. Someone who is watching over you and listening to you. Someone who is waiting to offer you exactly what you need. But in order to receive it you have to be open and be willing to listen. The Divine is calling and offering to help, what will you do?

Quotes to live by

"If a person listens to the voice inside them, they know where their right place is at any given time." ~ Loretta Claiborne

Would you wish it away

Have you ever had an experience or a bad day that you have thought if only that had never happened? Have you ever wished you could go back and change it? How much time have you spent thinking these thoughts over events of the past?

I want to share something with you that I hope will give you a new perspective on experiences in your past. A perspective that will help to change the way you look at the events in your life, even the so called "bad" ones. I know there will be some things that you may feel this perspective could never apply to and that may be true. However, I believe it will apply to enough of them that you can tip the scales in favor of looking at the past with joy rather than grief.

Let me share a story with you. On my daughter's second birthday, we were on our way to the park where we were having her birthday party when I got into a fender bender. I won't get into the details of the accident as that is not what is important. What is important is the series of events, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that resulted from the experience of the car accident.

I was on my way to meet my husband at the park. He had gone ahead to make sure we had our tables and set things up. It was while driving there that I had the accident. It was minor and no one was hurt. I am thankful for that. However, this was my first car accident since receiving my driver's license. I was pretty upset. To compound things, I did not have car insurance coverage for me at the time. Only my husband had insurance coverage. I was stressed and upset to say the least. And I was definitely having thoughts of why did this have to happen, I wish it I could go back and change this, etc. I was having a hard time relaxing and enjoying my daughter's birthday. My friends helped me to relax and put it behind me for the rest of the day.

By the next day when I was home alone with my daughter I started thinking about what had happened and what it was going to cost us. Now my husband and I did not have much money at the time and because of this we were living with family. I began to worry about how we were going to pay for the damage to the other person's car and what would happen with our insurance. All of these thoughts brought feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. I felt like I had made a huge mistake that was going to cost our family more than we could pay. I didn't know what to do and I just wanted to disappear. I became overwhelmed by the thoughts and feelings and didn't believe there was any way things would be okay.

It was in the mist of these depressing thoughts and feelings that an idea came to me. At the birthday party one of my friends had mentioned that her job was hiring. Maybe I could see if I could get a job there and then use the money to help take care of these expenses that were coming from the accident. I called my friend and asked her about the job, got an interview and started work within about a week.

This was the first of the many changes that took place in my life. My husband and I talked with the other driver and were able to handle it outside of our insurance and pay for the damages ourselves with my first pay check. I was added to our insurance policy. I loved my new job. I was working with two of my best friends and the work environment was fun, not to mention the additional income. With this new income my husband and I were able to save money and move into and furnish our new apartment. An added benefit of being able to be self-reliant was an increase in self-esteem and self-confidence. My increase in self-confidence gave me the opportunity to move up in the company as well. We were able to buy a brand new second car. We were no longer living pay check to pay check. We could buy things without the worry of how to pay for it.

There have been times when I have looked back at the day of the car accident and all of the stress and negative thoughts and feelings I experienced because of it. The thought comes to mind that I wish it had never happened but then I stop and think; where would I be if it had never happened? It was because of that car accident that I took action on talking to my friend about her job hiring. It was the desire to be able to pay for the accident that made me act quickly in getting an interview and getting hired. It was this job that gave our family the financial freedom to move out on our own and be self-reliant. If I were to wish away the car accident I would be wishing away all of the good and the blessings that came into my life because of it.

Now I know that there are many things in life that are hard and difficult. Every moment you bear these things can feel like torture. It can be embarrassing, frustrating, irritating, depressing, and maddening. These experiences can leave you feeling depleted and hopeless if you let them. But have you ever thought that maybe it is just a means to bring you something greater.

For example have you heard of Annette Kellerman? She is the Australian born female swimmer who made it acceptable for women to wear one piece swim suits and is the basis for the Esther Williams movie "Million Dollar Mermaid". Annette Kellerman had a disability in her legs that necessitated her wearing leg braces. In order to help strengthen her legs she was given swimming lessons. It was these swimming lessons that strengthened her legs and lead her to become a world renowned swimmer. If this were you would you wish away this disability and all that came because of it?

Have you heard of Bethany Hamilton? She is the female surfer from Hawaii who lost an arm in a shark attack. Her story is told in her movie "Soul Surfer". There are many other stories like hers and Annette's in the world that I could use to further confirm the concept I am sharing with you. I am willing to bet that your own stories can be counted among them if you are willing to look more closely. For the things that you have been wanting to wish away are the very things that have brought you your blessings. I know this to be true in my life and in countless others that I have seen firsthand or witnessed through accounts of their experiences by book, movie, talks, etc.

Life is hard sometimes and our experiences can feel difficult and overwhelming. Life is this way not because it is trying to break you but because it is trying to make you. A plant that is grown in temperate weather and climates tends to grow shallow roots so that when a storm does come it is generally up rooted and dies. A plant that grows in stormy weather tends to grow deep roots so that when a strong storm comes its deep roots hold firm allowing it to make it through and then enjoy the calm and beauty that comes after the storm is over. Your experiences are the same. They come to grow strength and adaptability in you so that you can enjoy the blessings that come after.

So take a moment and rethink how you are looking at the things of your past or even the experiences you are having now. Because what feels like the worst thing ever may just be a blessing in disguise.

Quotes to live by

"I went looking for my ideals outside of myself and discovered it's not what the world holds for you, it's what you bring to it." ~ Anne of Green Gables

In search of an answer to bring healing

In 2001 I gave birth to my second child. A few months after having him I began to have some health problems. It started with postpartum depression that turned into depression, severe fatigue/exhaustion, weight gain/unable to lose weight, weak/brittle nails, and hair loss. These are just a few of the symptoms I was having. As you can imagine this was very distressing to me and so I went to the doctor to try and find out what was happening to me and why. Each time I went to the doctor it went something like this; they were sympathetic and ran tests, the tests would come back saying everything was normal and there isn't anything we can do.

This wasn't just frustrating but it also left me feeling devastated. Especially since the symptoms got worse over time. I did try antidepressants but did not like the side effects and never really felt they helped me overall. The most difficult part was losing my hair. Even though I was losing my hair I will say that I am grateful it was a slow process that happened over years rather than weeks or days as I have found to have happened to other women.

I became very frustrated with the medical community and so I would go to the natural health community and try to find answers there. I tried many products they had to offer. I did find some products that gave me some relief from some of the symptoms I was experiencing like the depression but I could never find anything that got to the root of the problem. It was a problem that I did not fully understand.

I spent eight years doctor hopping which consisted of finding a new doctor, getting frustrated, going to natural health resources, getting frustrated, finding a new doctor, and on the pattern would go. Finally I had reached the point of coming to decide to stop trying to hide my hair loss or buy a wig since my hair loss was noticeable now. I was in a constant cycle of being hit hard by depression and trying to pull myself out of it. I also spent these years yo-yoing in weight. I would have to go to extremes to lose weight and I couldn't maintain living this way for long periods of time and would eventually give up.

After eight years when I began to become resigned that this is how life would be for the rest of my life, I got an email from a natural health company that said Rosemary essential oil was the essential oil for the hair. I decided to give it one last go but where to start. I had used essential oils from the health food store off and on through the years with no satisfaction. They never seemed to do what they claimed. At this time I began to hear about a new essential oil company called doTERRA through an email group.

When I was trying to decide whether I should try doTERRA essential oils I happened to be at a friend's house when she was using doTERRA Peppermint essential oil on her daughter. I asked if I could smell it. When I smelled the oil it was like smelling Peppermint essential oil for the first time. When I smelled the oil it was like smelling a brand new candy cane. Yes it smelled like Peppermint but for the first time instead of smelling like Peppermint medicine, it smelled sweet. If this is the way this oil smelled what was the other stuff I had been using in past years.

I became excited and asked my friend if I could come over another day and see all of her doTERRA essential oils and find out how to buy them. When I smelled her oils they were amazing. They were nothing like the other essential oils I had experienced before. I decided right then I had to try them. I bought the Rosemary essential oil and a few others like Peppermint and Lavender. I was not disappointed. I began researching to know what to use the oils for and how best to use them. For the first time ever for me the essential oils worked! I was amazed.

Since I had such success with the doTERRA essential oils I decided to try some of their other products. A few months after I began using the doTERRA essential oils I began their Life Long Vitality supplements; this is their monthly vitamins. After I began taking the supplements I began noticing an increase in my energy. After a few months I began to notice new hair growth and less depression. This was exciting!

I am happy to report that after only two and a half years of using the Rosemary essential oil and Life Long Vitality supplements my life has made a change for the better. What took me eight years to lose from my hair, after two and a half years I have regrown 90% of my hair back. This is my own hair, not a wig and I didn't have to try an expensive hair transplant. I am free from depression. Yes I have a bad day like anyone else but I am not living depressed any more. I have normal levels of energy and I sleep better. My nails have grown in stronger and thicker as well.

I am still having difficulties with losing weight but I have not gained more weight. I am thankful for that. They do have some products to help with weight loss but it will have to wait as I am pregnant. I have had some great success using the oils during pregnancy for nausea, gas, heartburn, digestion, and pain. The doctors still don't have any answers for me and all of my blood tests still come back normal even though I still have some remaining issues.

Anyway, I didn't mean to write a novel. I just wanted to share this with you and say, "Don't give up." Keep searching; keep pressing forward until you find the help you seek. Somewhere there is someone or something that can help. There will be lots of opportunity to give up, don't do it. You deserve better. Just keep at it and you will find an answer.

I am including some links for anyone who would like more information on doTERRA essential oils, products, and testimonials. God bless you on your journey to healing.

http://www.mydoterra.com/mistyroses/

https://www.thinkdoterra.com/23605/presentation#

Quotes to live by

"Great moments are born from great opportunity." ~ Coach Herb Brooks

I Won't Give Up

I heard this beautiful song on the radio by Jason Mraz called "I won't give up". I want to share some of the lyrics from the song that I found inspiring. At the end of the day the reason that I write and share the things with you that I do on this blog is because I want you to know that you have worth and you can do anything. After reading this I hope you can walk away from a difficult experience with your chin up saying "I won't give up" because you know that you are worth it. You are worth fighting for, sticking it out for, and you're worth succeeding for. And you have something to offer in this world, something that we all will be blessed by.

"I won't give up" by Jason Mraz

We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No I won't give up

I don't want to be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools, the gifts we've got yeah we got a lot at stake
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I'm healing this broken heart
And I know I am worth it

God knows I'm tough enough
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it

No I won't give up
God knows I've had enough
We got a lot to learn
And we're worth it

No I won't give up

Quotes to live by

"Be not afraid, only believe." ~ Jesus Christ

There has to be some deeper, hidden meaning

I read a book, "The Secret Journal of Brett Colton" by Kay Lynn Mangum. It is a beautiful book. There is a quote from it that has inspired me to talk with you about the experiences in our lives and how to find something greater out of the difficulties we face.

"Nothing comes from nothing, as we've all heard Julie Andrews belt out in The Sound of Music a million times...There has to be a reason why I had to get sick - why I have to deal with this, and why our whole family has to deal with it, too. There has to be some deeper, hidden meaning in and for everything that happens. Clouds come around because we need rain. They aren't just there to be there. There has to be a reason why I had to get sick..."

We have talked about experiences before and how trials in our lives are here to bring us learning and growth. We are simply having an experience to give us experience. We are all of us faced with some challenge in our lives. For some it may be being sick like the character in this book. But difficulties in life come in many shapes and sizes. There are physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual challenges in our lives at any given time. And the list doesn't stop there. You may be experiencing problems in a relationship or at work. Whatever it is, it is here for a reason.

The things we experience are here to teach us, to develop something in us that is ready to grow at this time. If you are experiencing it, something in you is ready. God has said that He would not give us anything more than we can bear. If we are bearing it, then from God's promise we know we can handle it. It may not always feel that way but this is where faith comes in. Faith is believing even when everything says it isn't possible. Exercising this faith is what grows and stretches you.

When you exercise you are breaking down the muscles. This is what an experience does, it breaks things down. When you rest after exercising the muscles knit back together stronger than they were before. This is what helps you to be faster, stronger, and more flexible the next time you exercise. After an experience breaks things down, faith builds things up stronger than they were before. This is what helps you to be stronger and more flexible the next time you have a similar experience.

This is the process of life; breaking down walls, perceptions, habits, thoughts, feelings, etc. in order to build a stronger more flexible you. Life and its experiences are not about breaking you but rather making you into the best version of yourself you can be. Just as with a challenging exercise, we feel better, stronger, and more able to move forward in life when we overcome challenges too.

So take a second look at the experiences that feel overwhelming in your life right now. Try to see what they are here to teach you. Finding out what that is may bring you the peace you are seeking.

Quotes to live by

"God doesn't make a no good anything." ~ Forever Strong

Being Enough

I have this really cool demonstration I want to share with you. The demonstration involves a clear glass jar, a shallow bowl, water, rocks, and a change in perception. If I were more technically savvy I would make a video of it and put it in this article so you could watch it. Unfortunately I haven't learned how to do that yet so we're going to have to make do with me describing it. Hopefully I will do a good enough job so that you can understand it. For those of you who are visually inclined, you can get the before mentioned items and try it for yourself as I describe it.

Take a clear glass jar and place it in a shallow bowl that allows you to see most of the jar above the rim of the bowl. Fill the glass jar until water just begins to overflow. This ensures that the jar is completely full. The bowl will catch the overflow. The rocks you use will need to be able to fit into the jar, about the size of ice cubes will due. Now you are ready for the demonstration.

Looking at your jar of water, I believe we can agree that the jar is full. Take a rock and place it into the jar of water. What you will notice is that as the rock enters the jar some water will overflow from the jar. The jar is already completely full. When you add the rock the jar does not become any fuller. What happens is merely an exchange; you trade water for the rock. The jar is just as full as it was before; you have simply exchanged the content of what is inside. No matter how many rocks you add to the jar it cannot be any fuller than it already is, you can only change the content of what is inside.

Now comes the change in perception. Are you ready?

You are like this jar. When you were born you came into this world clean and clear. You also came into this world being enough. You are not here to be enough or prove your enoughness, you are simply here to create the content of the person you desire to be. Just as you exchanged the water for the rock, so are you exchanging the content of who you are through everything you choose to partake of. Whatever you partake of be it person, place, thing, thought, or emotion; whatever you take in becomes a part of creating the content of who you are.

Your being enough is the gift that was given to you by the one who created you. To me this is God my Heavenly Father. I listened to a woman on Dr. Wayne Dyer's show "Wishes Fulfilled" speak about her near death experience. She said when she died she realized that we were not separate but that everyone was connected. She said we were all facets of one. I believe that each of us is a facet, an expression of God. We are of God and God is in us. It is this that makes us enough.

Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him."  Take a dandelion that has turned into a white fuzz ball. When you blow off one of the seeds you will notice that it looks like a miniature of the plant that it came from. Look at a child. A child has received the DNA of its parents when it is created. There isn't anything a child has to do to receive the DNA. There isn't anything the child has to give, accept, be, or prove to have the DNA. It is simply theirs, something that is willing given to them by their parents. And so it is for us. There isn't anything we have to give, accept, be, or prove in order to be enough. We just are because God has made it so.

What we are here to do is create the person He knows we can become. We are to take all of the gifts, talents, and blessings He has given to us as unique individuals and make in us a person who can live in His presence. Trying to be enough, prove our enoughness, or feel worthy of being enough is merely a distraction from developing the content we truly desire in us and our lives. The clothes we wear, the car we drive, the house we live in, the job we have, and the friends we keep do not make us enough or help us become enough. Just as with the jar of water nothing we add will make us more enough. We are enough just by being us. These things do not make us enough but they do help to create the person we are. The things we choose to partake of either help us to be in alignment with God or not, nothing more.

Trying to be enough in the eyes of the world is never satisfying because you are already enough. It is a hollow victory. It is like trying to pay twice for something you have already bought. So you can fill your jar with trash or you can fill it with treasure, the choice is yours.

How does knowing that you are enough change the way that you look at yourself and your life? Are there other things you could be doing with your time, energy, and resources that can truly bring you happiness? When you are ready to accept this; start thinking about who you really want to be because being enough isn't something you have to worry over.

Quotes to live by

"Being disabled doesn't have to be a disability." ~ Oscar Pistoria

Quotes to live by

"If I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt." ~ Loretta Claiborne

The Noticer

I just finished reading a new book today. It's called The Noticer by Andy Andrews. I found this book at a second hand store a few months ago. I love reading and I love finding great books for little to nothing. Sometimes when I shop I have a specific book in mind and other times I just keep an eye open for what looks interesting. The Noticer happened to be a book that just caught my eye. I have found some true gems this way and I am pleased to say this book is one of them.

I took the book with me today since I had to have blood work done and the process was going to take a few hours. The full title of the book is The Noticer: Sometimes, all a person needs is a little perspective. It's a story about an old man named Jones who notices things in the lives of some people in a small beach town in the south. Jones takes the things he notices and uses it to help people have a little perspective about the things that are going on in their lives. This perspective he offers them ends up being the difference between giving up and moving forward in their lives.

I know it is a fictional story but it is told in such a way that you feel these people are real and you are right there with them. These are my favorite kinds of stories, the ones that draw you in and make you forget that you are reading a story. The author also uses such real life experiences in the lives of these people that you know people like that or who are going through an experience like that. The only difference is their name. And maybe it isn't someone you know who's like that, maybe it's you who is like that and it draws you in deeper because you want to know what the solution to it is not just for the character but for yourself.

This book was full of some wonderful eye opening perspectives for me. Some that I have been made familar with through experiences or other books and some new ones that I hadn't come across yet. It was a tender and humorous read. It is a book that is now dear to my heart and one I will read again and again. It was a wonderful reminder of the strength of perspective in our lives and how it is life changing and lifesaving. In the end a little perspective can make all the difference and it's never too late to gain some.

You can find a copy for yourself here: http://www.amazon.com/The-Noticer-Sometimes-person-perspective/dp/078523232X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1345165483&sr=8-1&keywords=the+noticer+by+andy+andrews

Here is an excerpt:
"Most folks figure a true friend is someone who accepts them as they are. But that's dangerous garbage to believe. The kid who works the drive-through at your local fast-food restaurant accepts you for who you are - because he doesn't care anything about you. But a true friend holds you to a higher standard. A true friend brings out the best in you. A best friend will tell you the truth...and a wise best friend will include a healthy dose of perspective."

Quotes to live by

"Your friends mean everything...they can bring you down to depths you don't think you can get to or they can take you to heights you could never imagine. Friends are the most important thing in my life. Friends and family. The value of friends makes all the difference in your life." ~ Listen: 5000 days project

Love Yourself

The busy chaos of summer is starting to wind down here as the kids get ready to head back to school. It has been busy and long. Even though I am excited about them heading off to school I will miss them and having them at home. I have been finishing up the school shoping and getting things ready for their first day.

As I have been busy doing these things for my family I have been putting aside my wants and needs either because of time or money. Instead of doing something for myself I talk myself out of it because I have to think of the family. Even though it is true that we must sometimes put aside our own needs for the needs of others it is unhealthy and unbalanced when we do it all the time. It is good that we help and serve others giving of ourselves and our resources, especially when it is our family or people that we care for. But when we completely neglect ourselves over and over in favor of giving we drain ourselves.

I like to think of a family as this great machine that has all these cool features and moving parts that can do amazing things when it is used correctly. But like any other machine it has batteries and when you completely drain the batteries it stops working. It doesn't matter how great the machine is or what amazing things it can do, if it doesn't work it isn't any good to anyone.

We are each of us in some kind of family and have our own sphere of influence in life. It doesn't matter what talents and skills you have or the amazing things you can do, you are not going to be any good to anyone if your batteries are drained. When we neglect ourselves too often for too long we can become resentful and feel unappreciated. I think these feelings that we often direct outwardly towards others has more to do with us than them.

In the scriptures Jesus commanded us to love our neighbor as ourselves. How can you give to the people in your life if you are not giving to yourself? When you are not giving to yourself it is reflected in what you give to others. When we help and serve others when our batteries are empty we tend to give some negative stuff as well. We may end up giving frustration, resentment, and many other negative feelings to those we are giving to and can risk losing the joy that comes with giving.

It's not that others shouldn't help and serve us or say thank you. But ultimately, aside from special needs, when we are not taking care of ourselves we are the ones not getting the job done. It is up to us to recharge our batteries by setting aside time for ourselves. Now time for ourselves does not have to mean a week in Hawaii, which would be totally awesome. It could be anything from setting aside 10 minutes in a day for a nap or journaling. It can be a few hours every couple of days to read a good book or exercise. It may even be one day a week to disappear and go hiking in the mountain or go see your favorite team beat their rivals. It can be anything you want it to be. You are the one who decides because it's about making time for you.

In doing this you are not being selfish or greedy. You are simply loving yourself so that you can in turn love your neighbor; the people in your life that you love and have influence over. Giving to others does not mean neglecting or completely ignoring your own needs. Giving is about helping and serving others but that also includes helping and serving yourself.

So take some much needed time to recharge so that you can be the person who does something amazing for another without the baggage of negativity.

Quotes to live by

"If you are not smiling it doesn't really matter what you do with your face." ~ Meg Johnson

Keeping A Secret

We can keep secrets about anything but the kinds of secrets I wish to talk about today are the kinds that we keep to ourselves. The ones we keep hidden and dread anyone else finding out about. It may be something that we have done or something that has been done to us, but in either case it is something we go to great measures to hide from the world and sometimes from ourselves.

There is an ugly truth about a secret that I think most people are unaware of. The truth is; you don't keep a secret, a secret keeps you. The walls that we so carefully build up to hide a secret is actually a prison we build around ourselves that keeps us trapped and apart from all that we want in life.

I came upon this idea because I was keeping a secret, a secret that I was afraid for anyone to know. If someone had found out about my secret I would have been devastated. And over time my secret began to control and dictate my life. Now what I was afraid for anyone to know compared to someone else's secret may not seem so bad, but it was to me. And in the end how we feel about something determines its painfulness or the hardness of it. Where it may be hard for one person not to smoke another person will never give it a second thought. We are all different and what may be hard for one person may be easy for another.

My secret was that I was suffering from hair loss. Luckily it was a slow process but it was devastating to me none the less. At first it was barely noticeable that only required a small change in how I wore my hair to conceal it. But gradually it increased and it became harder to hide. I stopped going swimming, which is something I love to do, because it was noticeable when my hair was wet. I panicked when it was windy or rained because it might do something to my hair. Where I hardly used hair products, I became best friends with hair spray so I could style my hair to hide it and then glue it in place so nothing would change. I dreaded haircuts and I didn't let anyone play with my hair anymore, not even my children.

I remember seeing other women who were experiencing hair loss and were not hiding it as I was. I used to wonder how they were able to be so brave while I was so ashamed and embarrassed. The worst part was the depression. I believe the depression was due to the fact that I was letting this secret completely control my life. I wasn't free; I was chained to keeping my secret hidden. I wasn't keeping my secret, my secret was keeping me. It was keeping me from doing the things that I loved and from living life completely. My life was dictated by the limits of my secret.

When I came to realize the power my secret had over me and my life I was dumbfounded. I had never thought a secret could control me the way this had for several years. And when I realized how devastated I would feel if someone found out about my secret I began to see the trouble I was in. I saw that I had to do something about this now or it could very well ruin me and my life. It was then that I decided I would no longer keep a secret. I am a private person and I like my privacy but I would no longer live my life with a secret that I was hiding. I decided to have my privacy but live my life with the belief that if anyone found out anything about me I would be okay. If someone knew something about me I wouldn't be afraid any more. I wouldn't be afraid to talk about it or afraid of anyone else talking about it.

When I decided to do this I was hesitant at first and it was scary. But it was also liberating and freeing. You are never really able to understand the weight upon your shoulders until it is removed and once it is you feel lighter than you ever felt before. In the end I know I made the right decision for me. I now let my children play with my hair again. I have started going swimming again and I love it. Some of my hair has started growing back and some of it hasn't. But come what may I have decided to love it and just enjoy living without the heavy unnecessary burden of a secret. I highly recommend it.

Whatever your secret is, let it go and take back your life. Do not let it keep you anymore.

Quotes to live by

"Eventually, the more love a person gives the easier it is to find. It's the only part that matters, nothing else." ~ Anne of Green Gables: New Beginning

Success

Today I watched the movie FAME. It was just okay. I can't say that I would recommend it or watch it again. However there is a quote from the movie that made me think about what success is and I wanted to share that with you.

"There are some things success is not. It's not fame. It's not money or power.
Success is; waking up in the morning so excited about what you have to do that you literally fly out the door.
It's getting to work with people you love.
Success is connecting with the world and making people feel.
It's finding a way to bind together people who have nothing in common but a dream.
It's falling asleep at night knowing you did the best job you could.
Success is joy and freedom and friendship. And success is love." ~ Jenny from FAME

I have had a hard time lately with feeling good about the things I have done because I feel I have done so little. This is due to an inflamed sciatic nerve brought on by pregnancy. As a mom it takes a toll when you are not able to do the things you think you should be doing for yourself and your family. I know this is true not just as a mother but also as a woman and simply as a person who desires the ability to feel independent and contribute to life.

When we are no longer able to contribute the way we used to we start to question our value and worth. We measure our success by what was rather than by what is. We then use our success to measure our worth. And all of this is flawed and will lead to incorrect assumptions if we are using the wrong measurements in the first place.

Success is not the car we drive, the clothes we wear, and as much as it pains me to say this; it is not the degree of cleanliness of our home. Ouch.

Success as a mother is not the things I give my children, how many activities I help them participate in, or the amount of work I do in the home. Success as a mother is how much love I have for them and showing that love in the way that I am capable of. That may mean someone else in the family does my chores and others go undone while I am only able to sit and sing them a song or read a book as I hold them. In doing this I am successful; because I have loved and shared that love in a way that they can feel it.

Sometimes success is the things we didn't do. I didn't lose patience and yell. I didn't think unkind thoughts about a person who did things I don't like. But whatever success is, it is not a measurement of our worth. Our worth is infinite and is unaltered by the successes we have. Success is a measure of reaching our goals; the kind of person we want to be, the achievements we want for ourselves, etc. Our worth is infinite which means limitless, endless, and impossible to measure or calculate. No matter what you add to it your worth will always be infinite, limitless.

Too often we let our success or rather our perceived lack of success determine our worth and how to feel about ourselves. Today I want you to join me in changing this. Today I want you to see yourself worth separate from your success. I want you to look at success in a new way so you can appreciate all that you are actually accomplishing. So feel the worth of who you are as infinite and undiminished by what may come and celebrate your successes by where you are now rather than by standards of where you were or wish you were. Be honest about where you are so you can start appreciating all you do rather than punishing yourself. This will not only bring more happiness to you but to all those who are blessed to know you. Because we all enjoy being around a happy person, especially when that person is ourselves.

Quotes to live by

"A tragic moment is not the end of your world, it's a step into opportunity." ~ Commercial

Hello Again

I apologize for how quiet it has been around here lately. Between the children getting out of school and then preparing to leave for our trip to California to visit family and being out there for a couple of weeks it has been very hectic to say the least. Add to that being pregnant and having three birthdays during all of this and I am sure you can sympathize with me. Aside from being very busy it has been great and we had a wonderful trip visiting our family.

I have missed writing. I thank you for you staying with me and I hope you have enjoyed the "Quotes to live by". I have found some wonderful quotes while I have been busy so look forward to some more of those every week. I have also had some great "aha" moments that I will be writing about soon. As crazy as life can be I hope you are remembering to take the time to relish in the joys that are coming your way as well.

Here's to a great summer!

Quotes to live by

"Wounds heal...Scars fade...You've got to let go of that stuff from the past because it just doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now." ~ Po, Kung Fu Panda 2

Quotes to live by

"...God is love, and...God's presence is felt at the very time when the only thing we do is to love." ~ Pope Benedict XVI

Quotes to live by

"When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change." ~ Ang from Avatar

Quotes to live by

"When you esteem others, you receive esteem in return." ~ Unknown Author

Quotes to live by

"Learn from today, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning." ~ Albert Einstein

It Is Worth It

If I Can Stop One Heart From Breaking
By Emily Dickinson

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

The reason I write this blog, besides the fact that I love doing it, is because I desire to help others. It is my hope that others who read it will be able to receive something that will help them with the things they face in their life. Maybe there is something that I have experienced or something that I have learned that can make it easier for them. And even though I would love to reach many people, even if it were only one it would not be in vain. If there were only one person who ever found any good to incorporate into their lives from the things that I have written and shared it would be worth it.

Too often we go through life thinking that in order to do good, contribute, or succeed it must be on some grand scale. When in reality it doesn't have to be grand, large, or on a big scale; it just has to be. The things that we do in this life may not mean much to the world but it can mean the world to the one we do it for. How many times has someone done something just for you and it meant everything to you? Or how many times have you done something just for one person and saw that it meant everything to them? The things we do for one can be more powerful than we realize with greater far reaching effects than we think.

When going about your day, do not discount the things you do or talk yourself out of doing them because they are small or just for one person. Appreciate the good qualities in yourself for being inspired to do them and then bless your life and the lives of others by taking action and doing them. Being able to see a need and having a desire to fill that need speaks volumes about the person you are. Be grateful for the attributes that represents in you. Know that the little acts of goodness you share and spread not only bless yourself and the individual you help but it also affects the lives of everyone. We are all connected and are influenced by the deeds of others. If those deeds are good ones you influence all for good.

So know that there are no small acts and when we help one, we help all. All the good you do is not in vain and it is well worth it. It is through these small acts that you help to change the world.

Quotes to live by

"Remember, the thoughts that you think and the statements you make regarding yourself determine your mental attitude. If you have a worthwhile objective, find the one reason why you can achieve it rather than hundreds of reasons why you can't." ~ Napolean Hill

Just Forget About It

Forget It
By An Unknown Author

If you see a tall fellow ahead of the crowd,
A leader of music, marching fearless and proud,
And you know of a tale whose mere telling aloud
Would cause his proud head to in anguish be bowed,
It's a pretty good plan to forget it.

If you know of a skeleton hidden away
In a closet, and guarded and kept from the day
In the dark; whose showing, whose sudden display
Would cause grief and sorrow and lifelong dismay,
It's a pretty good plan to forget it.

If you know of a spot in the life of a friend
(We all have spots concealed, world without end)
Whose touching his heartstrings would sadden or rend,
Till the shame of its showing no grieving could mend,
It's a pretty good plan to forget it.

If you know of a thing that will darken the joy
Of a man or a woman, a girl or a boy,
That will wipe out a smile or the least way annoy
A fellow, or cause any gladness to cloy,
It's a pretty good plan to forget it.

This poem asks us to forget those things that we know about another that would cause them unnecessary grief and pain. It asks us not to make them into public displays to cause harm. The purpose for this is that no good can come from it. When someone makes a mistake it only causes pain and strains or ruins relationships when we make fun sport out of them. It not only harms them but it diminishes us as well.

I don't think the author is asking us to ignore a hurt or pain that happens when someone does something to us. I believe we need to address these things with the person in a private manner to let them know how we feel and bring resolution, healing, and closure to it. The sooner we resolve it the better so that we are not left stewing over it. Just keep perspective about it; most of the time people are not aware of the effect they are having on us because they are busy with their own thoughts and perspectives of situations, their own feelings and the experiences they are having.

The author asks us to forget the "spots" of others but I also believe we need to forget our own spots as well. We need to take the time to learn from those mistakes that we have made and make amends when necessary but we need to move on and stop whipping ourselves with them. How often are we raking ourselves over the coals for things we have done in the past. Regardless of making amends and the things we have learned from them we take our mistakes and punish ourselves for not being better. Rather than celebrating our successes we tend to bring the spots up as a reminder of our imperfections and that we have to work on something else before we can be happy.

As long as you have done what is necessary to rectify things, move forward with life and let it go. Just fix it and forget it. Do this as a gift to yourself so you can enjoy your successes in life. Do this with others so you can enjoy your relationships. And when someone else's "spot" causes you grief, forgive them and forget it. Doing this isn't about them it's about you; it allows you to heal and move forward in life rather than being stuck in that moment forever in pain.

So go and be happy and let others be happy too by planning to forget about it.

Quotes to live by

"Givers gain." ~ Jane Willhite

Age Is A State Of Mind

How old are you?
By H. S. Fritsch

Age is a quality of mind.
If you have left your dreams behind,
If hope is cold,
If you no longer look ahead,
If your ambitions' fires are dead---
Then you are old.
But if from life you take the best,
If in life you keep the jest,
If love you hold;
No matter how the years go by,
No matter how the birthdays fly---
You are not old.

There have been many times when I have been downright shocked at the age a person gives me in comparison to their appearance. There have been some that I thought were young but there age was much older. There have been some I thought were older but there age was much younger. In most of these cases I have found a common thread. This common ground seems to be the perspective the person has on life.

It is an interesting concept that one's thoughts have such a dramatic impact on one's appearance, but there it is. I have been in the presence of some people who have such a zest for life. They simply glow with joy and their eyes twinkle when they smile. They always seem to make you feel important and seem to have a genuine interest in how you are doing. They include you in things and make you feel better just by being around them. These are the people who always seem to be much younger than their age.

The other group seems to never be satisfied with anything. They always seem to have something to complain about and nothing you do ever seem to be enough for them. They never seem to laugh or smile much and seem to take joy in others grief. You try to avoid them and when you can't you feel like a deer in the headlights. These are the people who always seem to be much older than their age.

This second group brings to mind the phrase "it's a hard knock life". But the deciding factor to whether life is hard or easy is a matter of attitude. The very thoughts you think determine your state of mind and it is this state of mind that will determine your appearance in life. Your appearance is your age, your relationships, etc. After all you can tell a lot about a person by the friends they keep.

It would be easy to say that the first group didn't have the kind of hardships the second group had but the thing is; we all have hardships. We all have something in our lives that is hard to bear. There is no one no matter what the appearance that doesn't have them. The difference is what you decide to think, feel, and believe about them. This is the deciding factor for happiness.

If you feel that you are not aging as well as you would like; maybe instead of reaching for a face cream or starting a diet, it's time to re-evaluate what kind of dialogue you are allowing to take place in your thoughts. Write your thoughts down and get a feel for your perspective on life. Don't edit your thoughts; just write so you can get a true understanding of the situation. Doing this will empower you to know what kind of action to take. Remember this isn't about judging yourself, this is just information so you can begin creating the kind of person you really want to be and live the life you dream of. Good luck and have fun with it.

Quotes to live by

"Prayer does on of two things: it either frees us from the trouble we fear or gives us strength and courage to meet the trouble when it comes." ~ Unknown author

Never trouble Trouble

Since sharing "The Calf-Path" with you I have been reading my poetry book and finding other poems that share great life lessons. I am going to include these in my weekly posts until I run out. I hope you find them as enlightening as I do.

Trouble
By David Keppel

Better never trouble Trouble
Until Trouble troubles you;
For you only make your trouble
Double-trouble when you do;
And the trouble--like a bubble--
That you're troubling about,
May be nothing but a cipher
With its rim rubbed out.

There is a song that was released about twelve years ago, it's called "Everybody's free to wear sunscreen." There is a line that I have always loved from it. Well, I love all of it but this one line really applies here. He says, "Don't worry about the future...or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind...the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday."

The fact is my mind seems to try and find anything and everything to worry about. When in reality it's rarely any of these worries that ever really come along but something I hadn't even been thinking of. Eckhart Tolle refers to this as the ego and that it is keeping you busy and distracted. If you really think about it, just how much time are you spending worrying over that which may never be? How much time and energy does that equate to? How much more effective could you be in your life working towards your goals if you focused that energy towards what you really want rather than what you want to avoid?

I don't know about you but I feel that worrying is an excuse; a means of distracting myself so that I don't get to work on the things that I really want. Because if I don't get working I can keep dreaming about it without the fear of failing hanging over me while pursuing it and possibly seeing myself fall short of reaching the dream after all of that work and effort. What I have come to realize is that sometimes that is going to happen but it's a blessing too. I learn something I didn't know before when I don't make the goal. It teaches me strength, endurance, get back up and try again. There are any number of things we can learn from our mistakes but we will not learn anything from not even trying.

I suggest we all take some time to ask some questions about our worries. And when we come to some answers either revealing them as time wasters or maybe even validating some of them, we need to forge ahead and move forward in spite of them. If you do find validation in your worries; see what you can do to resolve them or ease them but once you do move forward. Moving forward is the only way you will see the changes you want in your life and bring some peace to the worries plaguing you.

Quotes to live by

"(Life) is like a bank, the more you put into it, the more you have in it." ~ Unknown author

Face and Forgive Some Difficult Realities About Yourself

A few months back I watched a movie with Julia Roberts called "Eat Pray Love". It was a very good movie on perspective and choice. There are a few unnecessary scenes, thank goodness for fastforward. This movie was based off of a book written about the author Liz's life experience in trying to find answers about her life. There is a quote from the movie that really touched me that I want to share with you. This is Liz summing up what she believes she has learned from her journey.

"In the end, I've come to believe in something I call the physics of the quest. A force in nature governed by laws as real as the law of gravity. The rule of quest physics goes something like this. If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting; which can be anything from your house to bitter and old resentments, and set out on a truth seeking journey either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you except everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared most of all to face and fogive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be with held from you. I can't help but believe it given my experience." ~ Julia Roberts as Liz

The phrase "The truth will set you free" is real and it exists for a reason. The truth can and will set you free if you are but willing to face it and most importantly forgive it. How often are we desiring something; a change, healing, help, guidance, opportunities, strength, hope, inspiration, whatever in order to reach our goal or find a dream? How often is it just out of our reach or appears unattainable? The fact is that there is a road block in our way that hinders us from reaching what we seek. I believe that road block is often the truth. It is the truth that we do not wish to see, most often that truth is about ourselves.

I don't know about you but I have spent many years hiding from some truths about myself. I had a fear that if I faced them I wouldn't like the person they represent. I thought it meant I wasn't good enough or acceptable, etc. etc. There are any number of avenues we can go down about why we are afraid to face the truth about ourselves but I now believe that all of that fear is unwarranted and false. Facing the truth isn't about needing to judge and condemn ourselves for what we have done but rather as Liz says, it's about forgiveness. Facing the truth can hurt but if you are brave you will see that it is an opportunity for healing which can then open you to the ability to learn and grow from it. It is in this place of learning and growing that then provides you the very thing to help you reach that goal or dream that dream.

Fear is paralyzing and debilitating. It limits you and henders you in all possible ways. The truth is opposite to fear in every possible way. It is freeing and healing. It uplifts you and opens the doors to limitless possiblities. As scary as it may seem to allow the truth to surface in your life and stand toe to toe with it, facing some difficult realities about yourself is the very thing that will bring the peace and comfort you so desperately desire. It may be hard at first and feel like the most difficult thing you have ever done, but if you can bring yourself to do it, you will be free and you will move forward towards the life you want for yourself.

There are many voices in the world telling you what you can't do. Stop listening. Listen to your voice and know that you can. You can face the truth in your life and you can dream big and you can make it happen. Face the truth and forgive yourself so you can move forward being the best version of yourself that God intended.