Happy Leap Day!

Today is a very unique and special day. It is a day that only comes once a year. It is Leap Day. Is that right? So how are you spending this day? Are you doing anything special or doing something special for someone? There are a lucky few whose birthday falls on this day. They are given the gift of aging at a fourth of the time as fast as the rest of us, Ha Ha!

But really, how are you spending today? Is there something special on your agenda? Or is today just another day that will pass with little ceremony or notice?

I ask you these questions because for many years I haven't given this day much thought myself outside of the initial curiosity of it all. Even this year, it's only gotten a small amount of attention from me and my family. This made me wonder, how often am I given opportunities to make the day different or special and I let them pass me by or take them for granted. How often do we all take something, no matter the size, for granted? We do this all while we hunger and yearn for something fun or exciting to happen. We want our loved ones to take initiative and do things for us or to pay attention to us in an out of the ordinary kind of way. We want to be made to feel special.

As much as we desire to feel special, so do the people in our lives want that for themselves. So you end up having both sides looking at the other one waiting for them to take action. This only manages to leave everyone waiting on the side lines with disappointment and frustration. All the while everyone is neglecting to take the opportunities to find enjoyment in the simple opportunities that come along to create what they want in the first place; a moment out of the ordinary and a time to feel special.

I have decided to stop waiting for someone else to create the moment that is out of the ordinary so I can feel special. After all, I can't control anyone else or their actions, so I could be waiting forever for what I want to happen. I feel it is now time for me to be the change that I want in my life. My chances of getting what I want are far greater if I take action being that I am the only one I have any control over. Besides that, I will have given a gift someone else, helping them to feel special. And what you give, you get back.

So take the opportunities that come along to create a moment or share something special with someone. Be the excitement you want in your life and chances are someone will return the favor because of your example.

Quotes to live by

"What we love determines what we seek. What we seek determines what we think and do. What we think and do determines who we are - and who we will become." ~ Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf

City of Refuge Concert with guest performer David Osmond

For those of you in the Utah area. There is a FREE concert coming up on March 10, 2012 in Salt Lake City, Ut. It is being given by City of Refuge. They are a group of musicians consisting of – Jessie Clark Funk, Jen Marco, Rachelle Call and Aaron Edson.  This event will include performances by their guest performer David Osmond.

You can click on the link below for more details on the concert and information on receiving your free tickets. I also suggest you take a look at the website and take a peek at what City of Refuge and Step into Light is all about. The mission of Step Into Light is to spread hope to families and individuals showing that recovery from addiction is possible.

http://stepintolight.org/events-2/

So come and support these muscians on a mission. Besides the fact that it's free, this promises to be a fun and exciting night. Hope to see you there!

Is yours an attitude of gratitude and love or obligation and frustration?

How do you feel when you see your husband's dirty clothes on the floor or your children's toys strewn around the house? What do you think about when you see dishes left on the table? When someone asks you for something or to do something for them, do you huff and sigh? Do you do things out of obligation with feelings of irritation? After all, your husband is an adult and should be able to pick up after himself. You have told your children to clean up and you have shown them how more than once. And when someone interrupts you to ask you for something, don't they know that you are busy. So when these things happen are you feeling obligated to do the work all the while feeling frustrated and angry that you have to do it in the first place, or are you able to feel gratitude? How do you feel gratitude for this? Let's see.

There are many married women in the world whose husbands are overseas in the military gone for months to over a year that have no physical contact with them. There are some whose husbands are gone more than they are home due to work. There are even some who are widows before their time. In these cases they are frequently left being a single mom. One woman I know whose husband is gone frequently for work shared a comment her mother made about her father's dirty clothes (her father was often gone for work), "My mother said that she was grateful to see his dirty socks on the floor because it meant he was home." So when you see your husband's dirty socks or underwear lying on the floor, do you pick it up out of obligation all the while feeling irritated or do you pick it up out of gratitude taking it as a sign that the man you love is home with your family.

There are women who have lost a child, there are women whose children have a handicap or illness that will keep them from a full life, and there are women who try as they may, can never have a child of their own. In all of these cases I am sure they would give anything to hold their child one more time, wish to see them live a life where they could play on their own, or even have a child so they can make a mess of their toys. So when you see toys lying all around your house, do you get mad or do you feel love that your children are there and they are able to play?

There are many women in this world who struggle to feed themselves let alone their families. Some are homeless and feel hopeless. Some are friendless and family less and they feel they have no one to turn to. Some feel lost and can see no way out. So when you see dirty dishes, do you feel frustrated or do you feel grateful that you or your family has food to eat? When you walk into your home, do you begin criticizing because it is not the ideal situation or are you grateful you have shelter and a place to live?

In every situation though not always ideal there is something you can be grateful for if you choose to see it. Now I'm not asking that you feel gratitude so you pick up your children's toys for them. I'm simply saying that when you see the toys don't get frustrated, be grateful and it will allow you to be patient while you have them come and learn to be responsible for themselves and their things. As you talk to them out of gratitude, you are teaching them how to treat others. As you guide them in cleaning up after themselves, feel gratitude so that you appreciate your time with them rather than feeling like you are wasting your time having to help them with something they should be able to do on their own. As you feel gratitude, they will feel your love for them rather than your frustration. And this will build bonds of love and trust. This will allow them to listen to your council, take your advice, and confide in you with the thoughts and feelings of their hearts. You will receive all of this because in expressing gratitude you are showing and giving love. This will apply to all of your relationships and any situation you may find yourself in.

So the next time you are doing something out of obligation and have feelings of irritation maybe it's time to stop what you are doing and switch gears. Take a moment to think of what you really love so that you can find something to be grateful for. When you do this and can act out of gratitude, you will give love and naturally draw what you love closer to you. Since like attracts like, as you give love you will get more love. As you give frustration you will get more to be frustrated about. So decide what do you want more of in your life and act accordingly.

Give your love to your loved ones; give your frustrations to God. ~ Dr. John Lund

I believe that doing this will make all the difference. The difference will be reflected in your relationships and the way you feel about yourself and your life.

You Are the Only One in His Eyes

Last October I went to a women's conference given by Seagull Books. There were several amazing speakers. There was a wealth of information and inspiration from each of them. I feel impressed to share one comment in particular with you today. The speaker was Dr. John Lund. He said, "God loves us like we are an only child." I have to say that I had never thought of it this way before, but the moment he said it, it just clicked for me. It made since to me because I am an only child and I know what it feels like to be a parent to more than one child. It is very different.

Growing up I remember hearing comments about, how could God know us as individuals when there are so many people who live now and who once lived. The numbers don't seem to make sense to them. However, I feel that it can't help but make sense. In just the simple concept of God explains it perfectly. When we speak of God or divinity, we are talking of someone who is omnipotent: having unlimited power; able to do anything, omnipresent: present everywhere at the same time, omniscient: knowing everything; having infinite knowledge. In just these few definitions we are able to see that God can do all things, be in all places, and know all things and all of this at the same time. This confirms to me that He can be with each of us individually as well as with the masses.

I remember growing up and having my mother to myself. I remember all of the wonderful, amazing and fun things she used to do for me. She used to make my favorite meal (bacon cheeseburgers at the time) and serve it by candle light with Kool-aid in wine glasses. She went on school field trips. She saved money and sent me to Disneyland and on school sponsored trips. My mother went without many times so that she could provide whatever she thought would bring me happiness. She sacrificed much for me to give me the best that she was able to. This is only an example of all the things my mother did for me and she did all this because she loved me.

Christ said, "If you, who are imperfect, would provide food and clothes for your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven who is perfect provide for you." Now of course I am paraphrasing here, but you get the idea. If my mother who is imperfect would love and give me so much and was capable of doing as much as she did for me, how much more so will a perfect loving Heavenly Father do. I do not just believe, but I know that God does love us and He works on our behalf, giving us all the love and attention as though we are the only child He has. He does this because He loves us and is able to do it. He does this because He desires us to know Him as you would know any person in your life. He does this because He desires our true joy and happiness.

A teacher in my church Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, "Compared to God, man is nothing; yet we are everything to God." It is because we are everything to Him that He seeks to love and do everything He can for us as though we were His only child. The catch to this is that we have to choose to accept what He offers us. Unlike the most well intentioned parent who tries to force their child to accept or do something (I know I am sometimes guilty of this) God never forces us to accept Him or what He offers. He will ask, He will guide, He will teach, and He will offer us, but He will never force us to believe in Him, love Him, or accept Him. He has given us our free will to choose, our agency, and He will never force us even if it is for our good. And also like the most patient parent, He still loves us and offers us His hand for the time we choose to take it.

I can promise you that we, the people in your life, will fall short and fail you. We will make mistakes and we will disappoint you. We will cause you heartache and pain. And there will be times that we will make you feel lonely and alone. We will do all this even though we love you. These things will happen all while we are doing the best that we are able. But there is one that you can always rely on. There is one who will love you perfectly, one who will always be there for you, and give you exactly what you desire. There is one who will love you as though you are the only one. That one is your Heavenly Father.

When your loved ones fall short, when life disappoints, and when the world appears to be against you, turn to Him; seek Him out. For it is only within His loving embrace that you will find the love, peace, and healing you desire. It is only He who knows you perfectly and therefor only He who can minister to your needs perfectly. If you find yourself friendless, turn to Him who will befriend you. If you find yourself hopeless, turn to Him who gives all hope. If you find yourself tired, turn to Him who will give you rest. Whatever it is you stand in need of, turn to Him and He will provide exactly as you need it. Turn to Him and ask, for He stands diligently and loyally by your side waiting for you so that He can bestow all that He has upon you whom He loves.

He does all of this that you may come to know and love Him as He knows and loves you. Another teacher in my church Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley said, "God was the first parent and He has not relinquished His parental rights." So whether you are 1 or 101, God is your father and loves you as such always. In His eyes you are and always will be His child; to love, guide, nurture, and to protect in as much as you will accept and believe Him.

I invite you, put Him to the test and let Him shower you with the love that a parent has for their only child.

Quotes to live by

Basic
Instructions
Before
Leaving
Earth
~ Unknown author

Are You Asleep?

I like Sci-Fi movies. One of these movies is called "Dune". In it the main character says this line, "Father, the sleeper has awakened!" There is a book I love by Eckhart Tolle, the title is "A new earth: Awakening to your life's purpose". This is just one example of the many books and other varied things out in the world talking about "awakening". It seems to be growing in its popularity.

Some may wonder as to what they are referring to with this "awakening". I believe it is this; the awakening is becoming aware of one's thoughts. As we become aware of our thoughts we then gain control of our actions. Now this doesn't happen instantaneously. This is something that happens over time, how much time depends on the person. This is due to how much effort and work they choose to put into becoming more aware. As awareness grows so does the degree of control one has over themselves. The degree of self-control is in direct correlation with the degree of awareness.

Now this awareness does not mean having control over people, circumstances, experiences, etc. It is only control over ourselves as anything else infringes on the agency of another and we simply are not able to dictate what others will do. This awareness helps us to be in a place of control because we begin to see that it doesn't matter about the other things. We begin to understand that it doesn't matter because we can choose what to think, feel, and believe. This means that we can choose joy in any situation. We can choose to be happy around any person. We can choose hope in the face of any obstacle.

It is in this awareness that we find our true power. I have a quote (I forget where I got it from at the moment, it may be from Louise Hay) that says, "The point of power is always in my hands." To this I have added; my choices, my feelings, my thoughts, and my emotions are in my hands. The power, this true power that I refer to is our agency. It is our ability to choose. This is what the awakening brings, the awareness of our ability to choose for ourselves. And we are the ones who choose what to think, feel, and believe.

We always have a choice. When we feel like we do not is the moment we are being overcome by fear and doubt. Being in awareness is walking in faith and love, while being in unfocused thinking (being at the whim of your thoughts) is walking in doubt and fear. It is in this place of doubt and fear that we tend to deal with things such as stress, depression, hopelessness, anger, frustration, resentfulness, and the list of negativity just goes on and on. It is also the path that leads to an unsatisfactory life, where we feel unfulfilled.

I have a quote from a fictional book with characters that are dealing with depression. This is one character that has been on the road to recovery speaking to one who has just begun it. The book is "A Dance to Remember" by Anita Stansfield. "Fear is a belief in something you can't see and faith is a belief in something you can't see. If you have fear, you are giving your power to satan. If you have faith, you're giving your power to God...Who will you trust?" I like to add, who will you give your power to? Because in every choice we are making, we are either walking in faith or in fear. When you make a choice you are placing your power in the hands of one or the other to help do the work for you that you need to accomplish what you have made the choice for in the first place.

So I ask you, are you asleep? And if so, are you ready to be awake and aware? If you are finding that life holds little to no joy or less than you would prefer, if you find less satisfaction in life than you desire, maybe it's time the "sleeper has awakened". "A new earth", "The Dream Giver", "Shed", "Cure for the Common Life", and "The Jackrabbit Factor" are all great books to help you come to awareness. You can find them with their authors, along with other great books like it listed under inspirational reading.

May God bless you on your journey and help you understand that your hands are powerful.

Do you really want it?

Today I was able to watch my teenager help her younger brother with his homework. It was pretty cool. I got to watch the two of them work together and enjoy being with one another. It was one of those moments when you wish you could pause everything and just be there. There was some laughing and excitement. There was also a really cool moment when a successful answer was reached.

Overall this was a pretty amazing moment to experience, but I have to say that it didn't start quite so smoothly. I asked my daughter to help him as I was busy making dinner and quite frankly, my son tries to get me to do his homework if he can manage it. So I was hoping that working with his sister would curb his "I don't know how to do it" and get him to solve it with minimal guidance.

They hadn't been working for long when my son started to throw a fit, telling his sister she was wrong. He was being very persistent with his arguing and wouldn't listen to either of us. Finally I told my daughter that she didn't have to help him if he wasn't even going to listen to what we were trying to say. She left and then came back a few minutes later after he decided to calm down. Before she began helping him, I made it clear that if he wanted our help he needed to listen to what we were saying. They then went on to work together with few problems after that.

After this happened it got me thinking, how often when we ask for help are we actually ready or wanting to receive the very help we have asked for? There is a book I have read (the name escapes me at the moment) that describes us, when we are in need of help, as a child coming to our parent and asking for a broken toy to be fixed. He says that we bring the toy wanting it to be repaired, we hand it over and then take it back from the parent before they are finished fixing it, and we then become angry because it's still broken. My son asked us for help but then became angry and defensive when we offered the very help he had asked for.

If we are asking for something, especially something like help or guidance, we should make sure it's what we want before we ask. And if it is something we want, we should be ready and grateful to receive it.

My toddler had recently started asking for things, but when you would give it to him he would say that he didn't want it or wanted something else. At first I would take it back and give him the other thing. I did this because I thought he was learning and I would just give him some time to figure out what he wanted. Then he started changing his mind a dozen times and had no gratitude for what was being given to him. That's when I said enough. What he figured out was that he could ask and ask and ask and change his mind as often as he wanted. So I put an end to it by telling him that if he asked for it that was what he was getting, nothing else.

I believe that God is just the same, even better actually, as any other parent who wants to give the best of everything to their child. But He also understands that a child who isn't patient enough to wait for it or grateful enough to appreciate it will not be benefited by His gift. If we are seeking or asking for something, the only way we will be ready for it and be able to receive it, is by being patient and grateful. We need to excercise patience that it will come and show gratitude for receiving it.

Once we are able to do this, He is more than happy to open the windows and doors of heaven to pour out His blessings upon us. So take a moment and ask yourself, am I prepared to receive the things I am asking for? Am I showing and expressing gratitude, even while I am waiting for the response? Answering these questions may just be the means to helping you overcome those stumbling blocks in your life and bring the solutions you are looking for.

If you are asking for something, make sure you are prepared to receive it or it may just pass you by.

Happy Valentine's Day

Today is a day that we celebrate love. Unfortunately in today's world that generally means how much one can spend to show love and affection. But I believe that deep down, no one really wants a maxed out credit card or new loan as a reminder of the day you expressed love to someone. And if they really love you, they don't want that for you either. So maybe now is the time to start some new traditions, like expressing true gratitude and giving acts of service.

I can honestly say that some of the best gifts I ever got were free or close to it. My daughter has given me coupons for beauty treatments by her. My son has given me an old perfume bottle that was gorgeous and made me cry. Now these were gifts from different occasions like mother's day and Christmas but it can be for any occassion. One of my favorite gifts from my husband was the year he took the children and spent the night at his parents house so I could have the house to myself with my mother and friend for the weekend.

If today is really about love, then show that love not through the gift of a thing, but by actions that are driven by a deep and grateful love. Treat them with the utmost respect and kindness. Exert extra patience in a situation that would normally press your buttons. Express your love of them and for them through every word, deed, gesture, and action without any concern for what you will receive. This kind of unconditional love can be life changing. I cannot guantee how they will react, but I believe it will change how you feel in a positive way. One cannot express this kind of deep emotional love and gratitude without being changed for the better, for love is trully the healer of all wounds and mender of hearts.

So take the time to show someone you love them by being concerned for their joy and well being. And in serving and loving them, you will forget all about what is worrying you, thus bringing peace to your own heart this day. Be the angel in someone's life you wish you had in your own.

God bless you to have the love you stand in need of this day.

Quotes to live by

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try again tomorrow." ~ Mary Ann Radmacher

Let Your Light Shine

I read this quote by Marianne Williamson today and wanted to share it. I have already heard it before as I am sure most people have, but it is one of those quotes that has much teach us and so it is good to hear it often.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. 'We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I agree with this completely. There are a few ideas here worth touching on. For instance I find that there are many times when I am overly worried about what someone is going to think about what I do. So much so that I hesitate to begin or even become paralyzed into inaction, even though what I have to offer will benefit them in the end. How is it that I became so consumed with what other people thought of me? Why do I worry so much or so often on how what I do is perceived?

I really feel strongly that we must make sure that what we do is for the greater good, as far as it is possible, for all involved. However, there is a difference between being aware of doing good and being concerned with what someone will think of the work I do. I believe that if we keep our focus on pleasing God, we will automatically please those that matter. For His standards will satisfy those of anyone around you. If you please Him it doesn’t matter if you fall short in pleasing a person because it is up to them to decide how they feel about. And that is something that you just have no control over.

Also, when we dim our own lights we do a disservice to those around us. For we all are here with a great purpose, one that will strengthen and uplift those in the sphere of our influence. When we shrink, others miss out on the gifts that we bring to this world. I believe that God’s work will go on. If we choose to opt out, He will ensure that it is accomplished. However, just as there are no two snowflakes alike, none of us are alike either. And even though the work will go forward and it will be done, it will be missing the gift and essence of what makes us special.

I can’t recall the name of the song, but there is this line from it that I love. “I'm learning to be the light.” And we do, this is the whole purpose of why we are here. It is to learn to let our light shine. And as we allow our lights to shine, we help others to shine as well. I believe if we can work to make our light a little brighter and exert some patience and forgiveness with those who are working to do the same, we can bring about the positive changes in our lives and in the world that we desire.

I have come to an understanding about how to stop being concerned with the voices in the world. It is this; that I am not here to please everyone, I am only here to please The One and in doing so, I will please all that I am able to. Know that you are beautiful and your light is brilliant as it was meant to be. So go and find the what and the how to let your light shine and bring a little more warmth into the lives of those around you. It will start a chain reaction to the blessing and uplifting of many lives, more than you may ever be able to comprehend.

May God bless you as you learn to let your light shine.

Choose a Life of Possibility

I read this excerpt from the book “Portal to Genius” by Leslie Householder and Garret Gunderson today. I felt it would help to bring another perspective to the topic of choice that I have been sharing with you.

            “…those who suffer will ultimately be okay. They’ll adjust or find something else; or they’ll reinvent themselves and find something more aligned with what they are really capable of doing and becoming. I believe in the human spirit. There is a divine spark inside of each person that can be fanned to a flame if it doesn’t remain hidden under complacency or dependency on external forces. It’s there, and sometimes it takes a shakeup before it can ever be discovered… What seems ‘bad’ always has something good to be found in it, and the people who suffer will have the choice to find the good or not. It’s within their realm of control to choose how they will respond. I choose to believe in these people.”

I too believe that we have a realm of control in our lives that we are mostly unaware of. It is our choice to respond. We can choose to respond to any situation or person in any number of ways. Our choice of response is only limited by our ability to think. Because what and how we choose to think directly influences how we respond in our lives.

If you want to make different choices, you must first think that there are different choices available to you and or think that you are capable of different choices. Take some time to see what you are thinking and you will then know what thoughts need to change in order to begin making the choices you desire for yourself.

Remember, the power to do this rests in your hands; it is your ability to choose. How will you see your life today? Will you see it for its possibilities or its limitations? It’s all up to you, and you are only limited by your imagination. So go and create the life you really want for yourself. Be that kid in the candy store and choose what you want. Do this with the intent of choosing what is for your good and you will find a life worth living. It will be a life that will have you jumping out of bed in the morning to go and create. It will be a life worth living and working to obtain.

Choose this day the life you have always imagined and live in a world of possibilities.

You Steer Where You Stare

When I was in high school taking driver's education, I had a teacher that shared a driving tip that has stuck with me all these years. One that I have been able to apply to my life beyond driving. His tip was this, you steer where you stare. For example, if while you are driving you get distracted looking at something to your left, the car will start to veer to the left and it will veer right if you are looking to the right. So it is important to pay attention to where you are staring because it will be reflected in where you are steering. Just as this applies to driving, so it does for the thoughts we are thinking. It is important to pay attention to what you are thinking because it will be reflected in what you are doing and where you are going.

I once had a bishop who said, "Thoughts are normal and natural, just don't entertain them." He said this because he knew that our thoughts lead to our actions. That which we think, especially what we think of often, is that which we will do. Not only will we be more inclined to do what we think of, but we will also be what we think. Here are some quotes of inspiration on this point. "A person is what they think about all day long."-Ralph Waldo Emerson "We become what we think about."-Earl Nightingale

You see this principle in life all the time. Think about a person who is on a diet that is trying to resist eating the cookies on the kitchen counter. Their thoughts are full of the cookie; don't eat the cookie, stay away from the cookie, etc., etc. And yet they eventually eat the cookie. Why? Because their whole focus was on the cookie. Sure they were thinking not to touch the cookie, but they were still focused on the cookie, even if it was not to eat it. So they couldn't get it off their mind and they gave in to eating it. It wasn't what they really wanted but that is where there focus was, so that is what they ended up choosing.

Just as it is important to pay attention in driving so we steer correctly, so it is for our thinking. It is much more so because our thoughts are reflected in our very words, deeds, demeanor, and actions. Our thoughts are the drivers of our vehicles and they dictate the where, what, and how of our lives. What your focus is on is what you will get. If your focus is on what you don't want, that is what you will get even if you don't want it. This is because that is where all of your attention is.

If our thoughts are full of negativity is it any wonder that our lives are submerged in negativity. Like attracts like. But the great news is, just as it works for negative things, it also works for positive things as well. All it requires is for us to change the thoughts we are thinking to start changing the direction of our life. It's called a course correction. When you are driving a car and you realize you are not headed in the direction you want to go, you make a correction so that you are headed in the direction you desire. Yet somehow, in life we often feel stuck in the direction we are going, or we think that changing direction is somehow a failure and so we keep moving forward without excitement about where we are going.

I don't know about you, but knowing I can correct my course inspires me and gives me hope. There are many things in life that I honestly have no control over. I cannot control if my son will do what I ask, if my teenager will listen to me and take my advice, or if my husband will finish the honey do list I have given him. I cannot control these or many others things, but I can control what I decide to think, feel, and believe about these situations and others like them. I can decide what to think about an experience, how to feel about a person, or what to believe about the kind of day I am having. I am the driver of my thoughts and so I get to choose what to think, how I am going to feel, and what I am going to believe.

Contrary to what many may think, these things are a choice, however difficult they may seem. And I am the one who gets to choose them. For example; no one "made me angry", I chose to become angry. Our thoughts, our feelings, and what we believe is a choice. And just as where we stare is important and affects where we steer our car, what we think affects where we are going in life.

So take a moment and pay attention to where your thoughts are staring and see if it's really where you want to be steering your life.

Quotes to live by

"If your faith will take you over the mountains, it will take you through the valleys." ~ Unknown author

Tune Out to Tune In

Have you ever been in a parking lot or on the street when a car almost hit you because the driver was too distracted to pay attention? Either they're talking on a cell phone, listening to their music, or talking to someone else. So they don't see you and they don't really hear you when you call out so you won't get hit. But luckily they somehow manage to react fast enough to miss you. I have had this happen several times, some that were not very close and a handful that had me holding my breath.

I thought of a recent incident like this and it brought a thought to mind that I wanted to share. The thought was this; distracted driving is a lot like distracted thinking. How often do you stop and actually pay attention to exactly what it is you are thinking? How often are you just going from one thought to another without questioning where it came from or deciding if it's what you want to be thinking in the first place? Most of the time we don't give our thoughts a second look before we are off and running, letting them carry us into action, or more likely reaction.

What most people don't understand is that our thoughts are the precursor to our actions. If our thoughts are distracted, then our actions will be as well. And in most cases we are simply left reacting to everything because our mind was busy somewhere else in the first place. But fortunately or unfortunately, however you choose to look at it, life is a thinking man's game. Those who invest in the time to think by being present and leading their thoughts will win, over those who choose to be distracted and allow their thoughts to lead them.

Just as the distracted driver, the distracted thinker is behind the wheel of a complex and wonderful machine that provides blessings and can sometimes be dangerous when it is influenced by distraction or impairment. If we were to continue the comparison of our thoughts to that of a distracted driver and its affects, we could find many correlations. For instance, how dangerous is a distracted driver to themselves and those around them? How much more likely will they be involved in something dangerous like an accident? Is it only a matter of time before they hurt someone, even themselves? Isn't a distracted thinker just as dangerous to themselves and those around them? Aren't they more likely to be involved in something dangerous?

There are some commercials to help parents keep their teens from being involved in things such as drinking or drugs. Most of what I have noticed as a common them is talking things over with them and helping them make a decision before the opportunity to do it arises. The idea is that if they wait to think about it and make up their minds until they are asked to do it, they are left reacting in the moment and are more likely to do it than if they made up their minds ahead of time. This is because they would have thought through all of the reasons and information to make an informed decision that they made, that matches the way they want to live their life. When you are reacting you are less likely to have the time to think things over and make the best choice for you because you are not able to clearly understand all that is being presented to you.

Another issue with a distracted driver is not being able to hear or see what is going on around them. When our thoughts are distracted we are less likely to hear the whisperings of God or see the opportunities He is providing us. How many times have you walked past something you were looking for over and over, frustrated because you couldn't find it, and then you're confounded when someone else walks over to where you had just been and says, "Here it is." How many times have you been seeking and praying for God to help you and walk away feeling like no one is listening because you haven't received the help you were looking for. Maybe it's not that He wasn't listening, but rather that your thoughts were somewhere else or distracted that you were unable to see what He was offering you.

It is for this reason that we need to start tuning out the distractions in our lives and start tuning in to what we are thinking so we can be present and see what God is offering us. Often times we have an expectation of what we want and how it has to happen. So when God answers us by giving us something other than what we expect, we tend to toss it aside saying that's not it and get upset because we haven't received what we were looking for. We should have a goal, but having an expectation is usually a precursor to disappointment or frustration. By being aware of our thoughts we bring ourselves into the present and are more able to see the opportunities that God is giving us. In doing this we are able to have a goal and then accept the path that God has made for us to get there.

So, I invite you to tune out the distractions and take a moment to pay attention to exactly what it is you are thinking. It may seem difficult at first to be more aware of your thinking, but it will get easier with time and practice. You may even be surprised to see just what kind of thoughts you were having that you weren't even aware of. I believe that once you do this, you will see more inspiration and opportunities arise to bring you the things and solutions you were looking for.

If you haven't already read it, take the time to read "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. His book discusses the why, how to, and benefits of intentional thinking over distracted thinking. It's one of my favorites and has helped me to be more focused and aware so I can be present and receive all that God is giving me.

May God bless you to tune out the distractions and tune in to the path to your success.

A Fuzzball of Gratitude

Today I just want to take a moment to express gratitude. We have a new addition in our family. It is a very fuzzy, very cute baby kitten. Saturday we were visiting with my in-laws. They have had a mother cat and some kittens take up residence beneath their back porch. Anyone who knows me can tell you how much I love cats. Which is why, to my husband's dismay, this is cat number 3 in our house again. I say again because we did have 3 cats until about 4 months ago, one of them went missing. I hope it is that she simply found a new home; however, we have missed her.

On Saturday while we were visiting, my children and their cousins were looking for the cats. There were different occasions that they claimed they found them, but they were not there when we came to see. However, the next time they called us and said they found a cat, they did. I went out to see the cat; they said it was under our car. I bent down to have a peek and low behold, there was this little cute fuzz ball that was the same kind of cat as the one who had gone missing. She is the same coloring and marking but a slightly different variation.

Now mind you, this kitten is a stray that hasn't lived with people and she was afraid and running from the children. The moment we made eye contact, she ran out from under the car and came straight to me, meowing. She stopped at my feet and just when I was about to pick her up the children started to come towards us. When she saw the children moving towards us, she began to bolt into the street. But instead of taking off, she stopped in the middle of the road and stared at me. I told the children to stay there and walked over to her. She stood still and began meowing at me again. She let me pick her up and hold her in my arms.

I took her into my in-laws house and held and petted her and she began to purr. She was comfortable with me holding her and petting her until she smelled food and then she became very squirmy. I could tell she was very hungry and hadn't eaten much as you could feel all of her bones. So I fed her some tuna, which she gobbled down faster than any cat I've ever seen. In total, she ate 10 oz. of tuna. I think the majority of her body mass was her stomach at that point.

This may sound funny to some, but I believe that God sent me this cat. And it wouldn't be the first time. I have had many interesting cats that I have had very interesting relationships with. I truly believe that when God was creating the earth and He began to make cats, I was right there helping design them. I really truly love cats. And I believe that God takes great joy in giving us that which we love. Especially, when we love it and are grateful for it just because we want to love. Just as we learn to speak the love language of those that we care for by giving them that which they love, so does God do for us. And much more so when we show and express gratitude for what He has already given us.

I invite you to take a moment and see how God is speaking to you and I am sure you will see that He does it through your love language. Then take some time and express gratitude for what He has given to you and you will see that there is so much more He wishes to bestow upon you, His very loved child. May God bless you that you have much to be thankful for.

Getting off the Runaway Train

I was reading “Random Acts of Kindness”, when I came across this story. It is about one gentlemen’s fury that was turned to humility and resulted in him receiving what he desired.

            I was standing in line getting ready to board a plane when this guy comes rushing up to the ticket counter. He had obviously been running…through the terminal and was furious when the woman at the counter told him his reservation had been cleared and his seat given away. She offered to get him a confirmed seat on the next flight, which unfortunately was not leaving for nearly five hours, but he would have none of it. He started screaming about how important it was that he get to Chicago by seven, how irresponsible the airline was when, after all, he had a confirmed ticket, how he wanted to see the supervisor, and on and on and on.

After reading this, it made me stop and think of how many times my actions do not match up with the person I desire to be. It almost feels like an out of body experience when these moments happen. I can hear and see myself saying and doing things that are contrary to what I really want and all I can do is think, “What am I doing?” But however much I want to be making better choices; it almost feels like I can’t seem to stop myself. The situation feels like a runaway train that has jumped the tracks and headed off into unknown territory.

I have found that this often happens when the thoughts I am having before the situation occurs, are mostly self-focused. For example, I find my thoughts focused on what I don’t like, what I am not getting, and how something that is going on affects me (usually in a negative way). What seems to follow after these thoughts is a situation I don’t like or I find something in it not to like, and then commences the out of body experience where my actions are not what I would prefer them to be. After it is over, I and the unlucky soul, who happened to be the outlet of my negative feelings, are left reeling from the episode.

It takes a moment for the flurry of negative feelings to settle, but once they pass I am left feeling horrible. I feel sad, tired, sorry, and defeated. How could I do those things? That’s not the kind of person I am. And yet, that was me not a moment ago doing those very things. I am then left trying to figure out how I got from here to there when I was actually headed for someplace completely different.

I spent many years beating myself up because I was not able to be the person that I desired at all times. Let me tell you, this is not very productive. It only serves to make one feel worse so that you can never really see how to go about making the positive changes that you are beating yourself up over. We do need to acknowledge our mistakes and make amends when necessary, but I believe it is time to leave the rack and coals with the Spanish Inquisition. As we pursue becoming better, I feel we need to give it our all with the understanding that we are not perfect and mistakes happen.

After many years of studying, I have finally come to a new understanding of how to make the positive changes that will help me be the person I have always desired to be. The common theme taught in many of my studies is that our thoughts lead our actions. When I made these mistakes, I never stopped to see why I was reacting the way I did. A key here is, I was reacting. Another is that my negative thoughts were leaving me predisposed to seeing negativity and reacting negatively. Also, by being consumed by self-focused thoughts there was little room to think about how someone else was feeling or being affected.

In the second half of the story from “Random Acts of Kindness”, the gentleman changes his actions, which brings about the very outcome he desired.

Finally he stopped his tirade and, in a very quiet voice, said, “I’m really sorry. I’m just completely stressed out and I can’t believe I am going to miss this meeting.” Right then an old man, who had been standing in front of me in the boarding line watching this whole thing, stepped up to the counter and said, “Here, take my seat. I’m retired and I’m in no real hurry to get anywhere.” The guy was so happy and so ashamed at the same time it looked like he was going to cry. Then he took the ticket and got on the plane.

Here we see what can happen when we are able to put the brakes on the train and redirect its course. It can be hard and can give us the perception of being humiliated, but in reality it is simply showing humility. When we can regain control of our thoughts and begin to see how others are affected besides ourselves, we can gain a foot hold in changing our behavior which will help change the outcome. This story is a good example of what can happen when we stop reacting long enough to think. And by doing so we are in a better place to receive what we were after in the first place.

So the next time a runaway train pulls in for you to board, take a moment and check to see if that’s really where you want to go. And if you are already on that runaway train, remember, it’s never too late to get off. In either case, it will be well worth the effort and you’ll be happier in the long run.