Here we are towards the end of March and life has become very hectic and chaotic. My youngest became sick with RSV two weeks ago. RSV stands for respiratory syncytial virus. Whatever, it just means an unhappy baby and sleepless mom to me. It's meant taking trips to the doctors and the hospital to have her checked and have her sinuses suctioned at all hours of the day and night. My husband and a few of my other children have had a cold. I have been feeling under the weather myself.
In the midst of this I have been going to classes to help me move forward on obtaining my dreams. It has been a crazy whirlwind of doing. I have been moving from one thing to another faster than I can think and I feel barely able to keep up. It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions as well. One moment I feel like I am right on track and know exactly where I am going, the next I question everything and wonder what the heck I have gotten myself into.
It seems the more I feel I know what I want and the more I work to move forward the more distractions, questions, and doubts that seem to surface. I have found that after the initial excitement calms down I begin to feel overwhelmed by what I am doing and then the fear sets in and leads to anxiety. In the past when I have reached this point I begin listening to those doubts and the questions that they bring forth. I would then begin to talk myself out of things or let the situations that would come up be a convenient enough of an excuse not to pursue what I wanted any more.
This year is different. This year I have made myself a promise, I am going to succeed. I know what I want. I know it. I am determined that I will move forward even when it gets scary or I feel unsure. Even though I may feel unsure about my skills or my resources, I am completely sure that I want this life and I deserve it. I deserve to live the life I have always dreamed about. I deserve to spend time, money, and whatever else I need to get me from dreaming about to living my life. I am worth having everything I have ever wanted for myself.
Not only do I deserve it but my family deserves the happy and fulfilled person that I am when I invest in myself. They deserve that compared to an unsatisfied and unfulfilled person for a mother and a wife. They deserve the example I am setting for them by investing in me and pursuing my dreams. They deserve to know that I am happy being with them rather than creating resentments in our relationship together. I have come to realize that the more I give to me and invest in me, the more I am able to give to them and invest in them. You can't draw on an empty account. I have to make the deposits if I want to be able to make investments in the future.
The chaos and the distractions that are arising are only momentary. They maybe an opportunity to get a little course correction or the means of showing you whether you are determined enough to have what you want. Whatever the reason these things have come into your life for, be grateful for them. They are only here to help you if you will let them. Be gentle with yourself, it is at times like these that we can be hard on ourselves for whatever reason. Doing this will be an obstacle for your forward progression. Instead of being self-critical be self-loving. Give yourself the unconditional love and patience you wish you had had all of your life. Doing this will be the boost you need to see you through this experience and receive the success you desire.
Whatever the distraction, whatever the doubt; remember it is just information. It is very valuable information that can help you as you move forward. It can provide you with insight that can keep you on track.
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