An extra measure of love

As a parent I am often working to find a way to motivate, guide and discipline my children all in the hopes of helping them to be happy. There are many times when my efforts feel in vain. Too often I am left feeling a failure and as though I haven't helped my children but hindered them. 

Often I feel I am intending my efforts to be one way and then they are received in another. I am working to instruct them and they take it as criticism. And on the merry go round we go, where it will stop I sure don't know. Sometimes life at home feels this way and when it does it can feel like it's all there is. No parent's dreams of having a baby entail these frustrating moments.

One of the things I have had a hard time with is making sure that my children know I love them even though I am disciplining them. I find myself pulling away from them when they have done something they shouldn't because I don't want to encourage the behavior. But there is a difference between trying not to condone behavior and with drawing from them. Even though there is a need for discipline there is also a greater need for the reassurance of love.

Reassuring love in the face of making a mistake can be the antidote to a wounded spirit. It can be the difference between repeating the mistake or learning from it. It can be difficult to love yourself when you are making a mistake. But that is exactly what is needed to get back on track. A child isn't going to learn how to do this for themselves if we can't teach it to them by loving them when they mess up.

God can seem like a strict parent at times. But I think those are moments when we are not understanding him. I know there are many stories in the scriptures of God's wrath towards those who repeatedly rebel against him. I am not speaking to those more extreme actions at the moment. Rather I am focusing on those times when one is making unwise decisions without realizing the ramifications of them. In these instances the Lord chastises in love, not with sarcasm or by being demeaning. And he also follows up with an extra measure of love, consoling and guiding, giving instruction on how to improve.

He is to be our example in all things. Isn't he more so in this, a time when we are guiding our children in how to learn from their mistakes rather than becoming one more of the many who turn to self-doubt, self-beat up and self-betrayal by not being able to be loving towards themselves and their imperfections.

I know that I am not perfect and I have made more mistakes than I care for but the real tragedy is not learning from them and repeating them. So whether it is yourself, your child or someone else; make sure you're not reprimanding from anger with sarcasm but do so from love. And follow up with an extra measure of love by reminding them of the goodness that is still within them and supporting them through their growing pains.