There hasn't been much posting lately and I have missed writing terribly. In one of my lasts posts I shared that I was experiencing a cold. Apparently I am experiencing some other things as well. I haven't been to the doctor in over two years. My health has been very good that I haven't needed to go. In a little over a week I have been to the doctor 4 times, have had several blood draws and have several more doctor appointments scheduled. Being a private person I have contemplated whether or not I wanted to share my experiences or not. I also know that sharing things may help someone else and I don't want to feel like I am living in hiding.
I have had a swollen lymph node in my throat for over 2 years now. I decided to go in for a physical and talk to a doctor about it. While at the doctor's they found that my thyroid was swollen. They sent me in for an ultrasound. From the ultrasound they have found two lumps on my thyroid. I saw an ENT specialist yesterday. After discussing my situation I am going to have an ultrasound guided aspiration of the lumps. Basically they are going in to take samples to do a biopsy of the tissue. They are doing this to rule out cancer.
The doctor said the chances of it being cancer are small. Whether or not it is, I am okay. I have been concerned but I have not been afraid. In all of the things that I have come to learn, one of the most important is that all we have is this moment. All we have is now. We do not live in the past or the future but in the present. None of us are walking around with expiration dates stamped on our forehead, even those with an illness. There are just as many completely healthy people who leave life unexpectedly.
Life to me is not about how long we are here but rather it is about what we do while we are here. There are many people who live a very long life with little to no joy in it or for it. Then there are others who live a relatively short life who have much joy regardless of their experiences. I choose to see that in this moment I have everything. I have an amazing husband who treats me like a queen. I have beautiful children who love me. I have a home that is warm and safe. I have a fridge full of food and the list goes on and on. I have much to be grateful for and in this moment I choose to see the blessings of the Lord in my life. As for the moments of tomorrow, I will wait until such time as they become my present moment and I will then make my choices accordingly. At this time I choose not to waste my time or energy fretting over or fearing that which is not yet.
Life truly is as joyful or defeating as we choose to see it. It is either a gift or a curse depending on us. We are the ones who decide. After all, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." So I challenge you, do not let your life's joy be as a leaf tossed in the wind never knowing where it will end up. But rather decide now to be joyful that whatever wind of life comes blowing, you and your joy may never be separated.
The last bit of news from the doctor, we are going to have another baby! I know that there are no accidents and that God has perfect timing. I choose to see that everything is exactly as it should be and is for my good. Whatever happens tomorrow I know not, but as for today I am just fine. May God bless you that whatever you are experiencing at the moment, you can see the good in it.
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