A reckless driver

I was out with my husband on Saturday when we drove by a four car accident on the freeway. I don't think it was severe but there was definitely damage done to all of the cars. When you are driving by an accident you don't know who or what caused it. But there is an affect and impact on those involved.

I find it interesting how we can find meaning all around us if we are willing to pay attention. Let me explain what I mean. Take a car accident for instance. Let's say there is a reckless driver who is driving drunk or texting. It doesn't matter why they are a reckless driver. I am only trying to describe that by their own choices they are choosing to drive recklessly.

When a reckless driver causes a car accident that involves another driver, does it mean the other driver is a bad driver? Does it mean that the other driver is a bad person? Does it mean anything negative about the other driver at all? Or is it simply this; that the accident has nothing to do with the other driver and is only a reflection of the reckless driver, their state of mind, and their own choices.

This doesn't change the fact that the other driver is affected and impacted by the reckless driver's choices but it doesn't mean anything about the other driver. The impact on the other driver can also be devastating and life altering. But the accident had nothing to do with who they are. And when the other driver is involved in an accident caused by a reckless driver they do not decide that this accident means they are a bad driver or a bad person. The other driver does not think it means anything negative about themselves at all.

However, when someone is being a reckless person we tend to make a lot of decisions about what that means about "the other" person. And when we are the other person we often look to ourselves to see what is wrong with us that this has happened.

I know that there are many levels to our interactions with each other but I would like to propose this concept; that when a person is being reckless, the experience is a reflection of that person, their state of mind, and their own choices. It doesn't mean anything about the other person. And when you are the other person, it doesn't mean anything negative about you.

When a person makes a choice it is based off of their perceptions and what they are thinking and feeling internally. No one can make you think and feel anything you do not want to. What you think and feel is a choice; a choice that only you can make. People can influence and persuade but they cannot choose your thoughts and feelings for you. What happens inside of you is completely under your control. What happens outside of you is affected by those you are surrounded by.

When we have an experience where someone is being reckless we tend to look at ourselves and question our worth and value, our character, who we are, etc. And from these questions we make decisions about ourselves. Things like, "Well they must not love me because if they loved me, they never would have treated me this way." or "I must not be important because if I was important they never would have done this." The possibilities to this way of thinking are endless. We often take these experiences and make some false assumptions about ourselves.

While the truth is simply this; when a person is being reckless it affects you and has an impact on your life but it doesn't mean anything about you, it is only a reflection of them, their state of mind, and their own choices. And the reverse is also true. When you are being reckless it is a reflection of you and not the other person you are interacting with.

I believe it is time we stop allowing reckless behavior to define who we are and start accepting responsibility for the world we are creating inside of us. Who we are and how we feel about ourselves is not at the whim of our experiences but are created by the way we are choosing to interpret the meaning of our experiences.

We do not have any control over what a person chooses to say or do to us but we have full control over how we choose to think and feel about it. It is our thoughts and feelings that create what we choose to say and do. We are not victims but powerful creators in our world. We can have victimizing experiences but being a victim is a "who".

We are far too magnificent to define ourselves by this title. We carry within us the light of Christ. Whatever belief system or whatever word you choose to use doesn't matter. God lives in us as us. However you choose to describe that; we are a part of Him. And because of this we too are magnificent, beautiful, and amazing. It serves no one, least of all you to define yourself any other way. Because nothing else can come close to expressing the full magnificence that is you.

As Marianne Williamson says, "You were born to make manifest the glory of God. It is not just in some of us; it is in all of us." You are here to do great things. There are no small people or unimportant roles. There are only small minds and unimportant assumptions.

So give yourself and everyone else the gift of being the unique expression of God's magnificence that you are here to be. Free yourself from false assumptions and forgive the reckless person. Because in the end their behavior was all about their inner turmoil and not a reflection of you. Your reaction to their recklessness is your choice and is what reflects who you are.

So, who are you going to be? The choice is yours. It always has been. What will you do with it? The possibilities are endless.