Impressions of the heart

I wrote a poem that I wanted to share with you. I was very full of emotion and wanted to convey my feelings. This was what I created to express the moment I was having. Have you ever felt this way? Maybe feeling this way opens up opportunities to create something you wouldn't have otherwise been inspired to.


Words, words, words

I am full of words

My heart yearns

It burns to convey its feelings

Beyond the slow and clumsy confines of words

For words cannot begin to express this fire that burns within

And yet it is all I have available to me at the moment

So words must do

To try and express what words can only aspire to be

Impressions of the heart

Quotes to live by

"God can turn your disappointments into his appointments." ~ Beth Bankemper

What beautiful means to me

I have gotten a personal coach to help me achieve my dreams and I am taking his classes. During one of his classes he asked us a question. This question sparked in me an introspection and reflection about myself and what I want. This whole dream chasing journey has been the craziest roller coaster ride. Did I mention I don't like roller coasters. It has been fraught with emotion and upsets. It has been full of change and inspiration. I have had success and have made mistakes and messes. It has been confusing and enlightening.

Needless to say there have been moments of doubt when I was ready to quit and moments when I couldn't wait for the next step. This reflection helped me to understand some things that I wanted to share with you and leads me to ask you, "What word represents what you are hoping to experience or feel from obtaining your dream?"

 

Last week during the Manifesting Money class you asked us what word represented what we were hoping to experience or feel from going to the Awakening. The first word that came to my mind was beautiful. I felt a little perplexed by it at first but as I have thought about it I understand why it is exactly the right word for me. But it’s not the meaning of beautiful that first comes to mind and may not be in anyone else’s definition of it but my own.

When beautiful came to mind I realized the most beautiful things to me are clean and pure and have an ethereal quality about them. Ethereal being extremely delicate and light in a way that seems to perfect for this world; being of perfect spirit. The most beautiful things can touch the inner most part of a heart and move it to the light, to the best aspects of humanity, to the deepest level of love, gratitude, and healing unlike anything else. It can touch the hardest of hearts that no other thing can reach. It breaches the darkest fears and leaves a trail of hope in its place.

The most beautiful things are seen and heard and move and inspire people to step into the best part of themselves for however brief or long they are willing to be there. In that one moment of contact it touches them in a way that leaves them changed forever. The most beautiful things are counted as precious, cherished, and respected. Because of this they are protected and kept safe at all costs. They are looked up to and looked towards as a means of inspiration, hope, and guidance. They are the light in the darkness that threatens to swallow you up. They are the beacon to look to for direction and support. They are what you hold tight to when everything is wrong and what carries you through to the other side to reach safety.

The most beautiful things are what make the tears bearable and the pain tolerable. They are the balm of Gilead that soothes the weary soul and makes it possible to continue the journey. They are the best and most amazing things in humanity. They are the whisperings of heaven that have floated down to earth and have chosen to remain and inspire humanity to a higher standard of existence and a purer way of being. And for all of the strength and power they have available to communicate, they do it with all of the tenderness and gentility of a newborn baby. They are the sweetest things and because of this evoke deep love, trust, and respect from those that see and witness them.

This is what beautiful means to me and what I wish to experience with all of my heart and soul to the deepest part of me. It is what I fear may never be possible in my life time. It is what inspires me and feels just out of reach no matter how hard I work, how much I give, or whatever I might do in order to receive it. I feel as a bleak Don Quixote reaching for the unreachable star; never to obtain it and never feeling whole or complete without it.

In the desperate need to feel whole I can never quit trying and am left in a vicious cycle that I can never get out of because I can’t walk away until I have obtained it and yet it is unattainable; even if it just feels that way. I feel Einstein’s definition of insanity, “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”, smacking against my forehead telling me to give it up and as much as I want to I cannot. And so it leaves a gapping whole that I cannot possibly hope to fill and is consuming my life to the point that I do not feel like I have a life.

A part of me feels that making any other efforts to heal this after everything else I have done would be pointless. And yet, hope remains. For as many times as I have been shoved down, pushed over, and knocked out; I cannot walk away. Each time something in me whispers to get back up, give it another shot, and try one more time.

It feels like madness to step one foot in this direction as the fear threatens this may be my greatest disappointment of all. And yet my heart beats with the inextinguishable hope that this may finally be the moment I have been dreaming of all along. This may be it; the time when it finally works and everything comes together in my favor and I get what I want, what I have been working for all this time.

 I cannot say if I am Einstein’s definition of insanity and I have finally gone completely insane or if I have finally fought my way to sanity’s shore and am witnessing a new dawn on the horizon. In either case, there is something inside of me that just won’t let me quit and I know that I will have to see the journey to its final destination where ever that may lead. I can only pray that it is what my heart has been hoping for all along and the dream is finally able to be realized.

Attitude of Gratitude

Today I am grateful for the privilege of being a good friend. I had the opportunity to be the kind of friend I would like to have as Tim McGraw says in one of his songs. I love knowing that someone trusts me enough to share what matters most to them, to be vulnerable and let me see their pain, and feel safe that it is in confidence.

Is there someone who could benefit from you being their friend and the special gifts you have to offer?

Quotes to live by

"Remember, happiness doesn't depend on who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think." ~ Dale Carnegie

Motivation for Inspiration

A dream is only over when you say it is. If you believe then all things are possible. It may simply require a change in perspective but it can be done. Here is a man who did just that.

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/SPORT/golf/09/30/Blind.golf.jeremy.poincenot/index.html

Course Correction

It has been busy, busy, busy around here. School is winding down for my children but it is very hectic for me. Every time I think I might write, something keeps me busy. I wanted to write this two weeks ago but now must be the better time for it because now is when I have been able to do it.

With all of the activity going on I feel like I haven't had an opportunity to catch my breath. It has been exciting to learn and grow. It's even more exciting watching my life change. The changes are amazing but not always easy. Some of them have been very hard to say the least. Every growth spurt has been preceded by growing pains. In some cases the growing pains were pretty intense. In spite of the pain and the hard things I have had to experience, I wouldn't change anything. I am so incredibly grateful for the experiences and the blessings that they have brought to me.

Even though I am grateful and proud of myself for moving forward it has brought up some questions. Do I still want the same dream or has it changed? Am I on the path that will best help me get to my dream? Am I really moving forward or am I spinning my wheels and keeping busy so that I am not acknowledging that I am not moving forward? Are the things that I am doing really serving me? Do any of these questions sound familiar?

At the beginning of the year when I started this I focused on a dream that I wanted. Life began to unfold and show me a way to my dream. It has been like Hansel and Gretel following bread crumbs. It has been full of excitement and wrought with challenges. Recently as I have been pondering on my journey and asking myself these questions I had an idea. When we are going on a road trip do we only look at the map once when we first start our journey or do we refer to it throughout the whole trip to make sure that we stay on course and arrive at the correct destination?

Starting a journey, any journey, can be exciting and full of challenges. A journey to obtain your dream is just as exciting and just as challenging. It requires just as much attention to where you are and where you are going. If you are chasing your dream right now, when is the last time you checked in to see if you are still on course? Does the dream need adjusting or tweaking? Do you need to take some time to refocus?

Remember that course correction doesn't mean failure. Like the stereo type about men who won't stop and ask for directions because they don't want to appear incapable. Think of yourself as the smart woman who doesn't want to get lost or needlessly drive around for hours on end. Just like that woman you simply want to make sure that you arrive at your destination safe, sound and hopefully on time.

Like my mother has told me; an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. So take the time to check in with yourself and see how things are going. Be honest with yourself because it will only cost you if you're not. It isn't about beating yourself up. It is simply about finding the way that will help you get what you want, your dream. God bless you and good luck.

Attitude of Gratitude

Today I am grateful for having the opportunity to discover what I want. Not the things that I was told to want by others, but what I really want. The things that make my heart sing and put a smile on my face just because.

Is there something that you haven't even let yourself want because you are worried what others will think? Maybe it's time to go after it anyway.

Quotes to live by

"The greatest thing she learned is that there's no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one." ~ Unknown Author

Attitude of Gratitude

Today I put aside my business and played with my 4 year old. It was great to listen to him giggle and get excited about what we were doing.

Is there someon who could benefit from you taking a break and being fully present with them?

Quotes to live by

 "No one can offend you without your permission." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt